DOSE:

1 bowl

smoked

Cannabis

(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

275 lb

I smoke weed pretty much every day, but today's trip was unlike anything I have ever experienced.

I don't know where to begin really. I smoked it out of my bowl. I was initially going to smoke a bowl of just weed but then I realized there was a pile of resin powder at the bottom of the baggy that my weed was in. I bought the weed pre-ground from a dealer because it was all he had left.

I pinched some of the powder, it was sticky resin that rolled into a ball in between my fingers. I sprinkled a layer of the powder on top of the bowl and went outside to smoke.

I smoked in the woodshed beside my house. I took one hit and knew how intense the experience was going to be. I was already high and I had only hit the bowl a few seconds earlier. I smoked the whole bowl and began to really feel it. I walked up to the house smiling and laughing, thinking that this was going to be a great high.

I was doing fine, feeling good, watching tv, and eating. I started to reach new levels of high, places I had never been. Sounds from the TV were echoing and I was becoming increasingly psychologically introverted. I turned the TV off because it was becoming too frantic for me to watch. I began to think about myself and my personality. I was feeling emotions, defining where the emotions were coming from and analyzing them. I went through all of my worries, confusions, pleasures, guilts, and took them all to their roots in my mind. It was like I was watching a movie about myself in my brain.

As I continually became more and more introverted and pensive on my minds workings I found a place in my brain that I have never been before. I literally was convinced I had found my personality's core, a pure representation of myself, and surrounding it were all of the external personas, facades, and superficialities that I had accumulated throughout my life. I visually hallucinated, while standing in my kitchen breaking through the layers of my external superficialities and facades until I reached some sort of true center.

I was physically shaking while breaking through hallucinated layers. I was floating through a fractal-like world, in a complete visual hallucination. I was in a different dimension, as cliche as that sounds. It was the most intense emotional experience I have ever had. Every once in a while, as I traveled through this world, I would come-to a little bit, and I became scared and worried about how out of it I was. But eventually I would be back in my brain thinking about things I hadn't thought about for years, and at a speed of processing that I have never experienced.

I began to feel physically drained and like I was probably going to be sick. I went upstairs to my room and laid in my bed. I was higher than I have ever been in my entire life. I laid down and pulled the covers over myself and closed my eyes. The things I saw in my mind are completely indescribable. I was looking at my psyche, and I was seeing the portions and compartments that constituted it.

As soon as I thought that I had compiled all of my mental processes into one big picture image, I zoomed out from what I previously had believed to be my psyche in it's entirety and realized that there was still more. I did this process of consolidation and realization until I had a large ball visualized in my brain. This ball was everything that is me: every thought, memory, emotion, every action, all contained in this ball. I think I then began to fall asleep. The ball moved farther and farther away in my visual field until there was nothing. It was a mental silence like I have never felt. I sat bolt upright and honestly became convinced that the silence I had just experienced was death. I thought that I had almost died.

I got up and went back downstairs. Sat down in front of the TV and never in my life have I wanted to be sober more than the next two hours. I was high, coming down, and thankful for the fact that I wasn't still freaking out.

The experience was way too intense for me. I'm glad it happened, because it was eye opening, but I would definitely not like to be that high every time I smoke weed.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 83216
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Sep 20, 2011	Views: 17,679
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Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)