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Gentle, Subtle Mood Improvement
St. John's Wort
Citation:   Ocean Rain. "Gentle, Subtle Mood Improvement: An Experience with St. John's Wort (exp84795)". Erowid.org. Nov 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/84795

 
DOSE:
  oral St. John's Wort
BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb
There's having a monkey on your back; then there's having a silverback gorilla laying on you upon waking every morning. Anyone that's struggled with the blues knows what a monster it can be, and possibly knows how pharmaceutical ADs can make things so much worse.

Having been prescribed both Escitalopram (Lexapro) and Amitriptyline (Elavil), I came to the conclusion that prescription ADs would only make life worse. At best the medications temporarily numbed my mind and emotions, only to afterwards create intense mood swings and extreme feelings of hopelessness that would otherwise not be experienced without the meds. It’s almost as though they hijack my mind and don’t allow me to think outside their spell.

The increased depression led to introspection through skewed lenses, meaning I was able to convince myself of things that really weren’t true, and nearly completely derail my life. I only realized all this once I forget to take my meds home for a week, and noticed I actually felt a little better and could think more clearly. So I knew then I had to come off the meds..

And so I decided to give St. John’s Wort a try.

The only physical or immediately tangible effect is lethargy or tiredness, which can easily be countered by coffee or some other caffeine. Trivial, considering the other things I’d be going through to consider taking the herb. The true medicinal effects are not immediate, meaning it takes a few weeks to feel the full effects.

Rather contentedly, I can report that the herb is fairly effective. The meaningless and often intense feelings of dread and hopelessness are now largely tamed. I now rarely dwell on my own existence without reason, and can channel my thoughts where they actually belong and are beneficial. Silly little things like videogames now hold my attention better.

Granted I do take probably 4-5x the “recommended” dosage, all in all, the herb has done what it’s supposed to and I’m glad I found it.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 84795
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Nov 11, 2020Views: 1,122
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St. John's Wort (142) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Not Applicable (38)

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