DOSE:

repeated

vaporized

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

It's All Stereotypical Hype, at Least for Me

All of my life, I have been on the anti-drug wagon. I'm generally afraid of anything that alters my state of mind, barring alcohol- and even then it took me a few years before I had the guts to actually get drunk. One 25mg Benedryl will put me out for over 12 hours and give me a wretched 'hangover', where I feel sluggish and grouchy for hours. I've never even smoked a joint. So you can imagine my terror when my husband, who has extensive recreational experience with drugs, came home with a .25 G little bag of meth after visiting a friend.

We had a friend over from out of town, and after she went to sleep he asked me to join him in the bedroom. We sat down on the bed together, and he showed me the bag. My eyes widened, I started freaking out. I can only describe the feeling as absolute terror. I kept saying 'No, I can't do that. I don't know...', until he told me if I wanted to try it, I could take the smoke from his lips at first instead of trying to smoke it myself.

I thought about it- I trust my husband with my life, so I agreed.

What happened over the next five hours was unlike anything I ever expected.

He lit the pipe, inhaled deeply, and motioned for me to put my lips on his. I inhaled, my mouth was filled with a light, slightly sweet smoke that made my mouth water. I did this a few times, and then he put the pipe to my lips, lit it, and said he'd let me know when to inhale. We stayed curled up in the bed until after sunrise, smoking a few drags, then waiting 20 minutes or so before resuming.

Honestly, it took a long time for anything to happen. It wasn't like I had heard, that you take a few drags and your world explodes. I didn't feel like cleaning, I didn't feel like colouring, picking anything or any of the other cliches I had heard about. There was no 'rush' for me. It started with a sparkly tingle in my hands and feet, and finished with the same sensation I would feel after holding my breath for a long time; like a long exhale into deep relaxation.

I felt awake, but a dreamy awake. My mind was clear, but admittedly smiles came easier than they normally do, and all I really wanted to do was snuggle up and talk for days. I described it to my husband as feeling like I was seeing everything in HD.

I didn't feel that crazy sexed up feeling, though in the several times since my first time we have smoked together, the sex is unlike anything I could possibly describe. Sex for me on meth is like simply feeling and hearing myself only- just completely letting go and then having to be peeled off of the ceiling with a spatula.

For me it doesn't last very long, maybe two hours. Coming back down is very noticeable for me once it starts. The first time was really hard for me, for some reason I kept fighting sleep, the twitching was really intense for me, I hallucinated the doors opening and shutting ( Note: If I stay up more than 24 hours while SOBER, I still have a tendency to hallucinate.) Since then we have stocked up on some supplements which have vastly improved my experiences with coming down.

We've done it a handful of times since then, always in the same way, just hanging out in our room or the living room. We don't go anywhere, or do anything pressing. Ironically the same drug I had avoided out of absolute sheer terror has, in my opinion, brought us closer together and given us incredible communication skills.

The one thing I can't get past though, is why the media says it is so powerfully addictive. Sure, we do it for recreation, but I can't IMAGINE being functional in a work place or social environment with my personal physiological response, especially on a regular basis. However, I will say that I will continue enjoy it sometimes- but I'd never participate with anyone but my husband.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 86003
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Aug 1, 2019	Views: 2,426
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Methamphetamine (37) : First Times (2), Relationships (44), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)