DOSE: T+ 0:00	3.6 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(tea)
T+ 0:50	50 g	oral	Mimosa tenuiflora	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

63.5 kg

Today I thought Id write a story about something that happened to me a few weeks ago now, its something that I havent shared with anyone else for fears of them being worried about me or my state of mind, which is actually ridiculous considering Im feeling the best I have in years, and is entirely how this situation came about.

So, as I said, Ive been feeling really good lately, and as I was between jobs and had a little spare time on my hands, thought Id indulge in something which in my past, I did frequently, thats right, you guessed it, psychedelics. Please note that I hadnt really had what 'I' consider a real trip for about 4 years, and even back then it wasnt a heroic dose or anything. And as my flatmate was going to be out of town for about 10 days I thought I'd take advantage of the situation and have myself a fairly heroic dose of ayahuasca.

Having dabbled many times in DMT over the years and trying ayahuasca (or mimosahuasca as the case may be) Ive come to the conclusion that I prefer the more natural orally administered experience by far, its how its meant to be I believe. So the
last time I did it (4 years prior), I used about 15gm of mimosa to about 7gm of peganum harmala (MAOI), the trip was ok but nothing to write home about, so I put the rest of the mimosa (what I thought to be about 30gms) and the harmala (about 3 - 4gms)in a bag, hid it away, and didnt get it out till 2 weeks ago.

Eyeballing both amounts of plant material, I figured I might not have enuff harmala to act as a powerful MAOI so thought Id better take the full amount of mimosa to make up for it (I also thought I better take it all due to having it sit about for 4 years, it could have lost its potency some). At this stage Id like to make it clear that I was WAAAAAAAAAAAY off how much mimosa I thought I had. Ive been working at a store where I have accurate scales handy, and have since weighed some kava (same consistency and density as the powdered root bark I had) on the scales and can safely say that the amount of mimosa I ingested was more like 50 - 60(!!!!!!!!)grams. Looking back, what I was about to do that night, due to being a bit lazy and not checking my dosage properly, was possibly a bit suicidal, very silly anyway ..I should, after many years of doing thing like this, have known better. BUT.... oh well.

So I boiled the harmala with a bit of lemon juice for about 20 minutes, strained the juice into half a cup, put in the fridge. I even wrapped the remaining plant matter in a bit of toilet paper for later consumption too. I then dumped all the mimosa into a pot of water (with 3 juiced lemons) and cooked that for about 30mins, strained its all out, then re-boiled the mimosa again ... after this all the alkaloids were def out so I strained it again, combined the two liquids and then simmered it all down to a half cup of magic.

I took the harmala at about 7pm .. it tastes bad, but not too bad. I then waited 50mins and went to get my mimosa cocktail which had been cooling in the fridge. Im not sure if uv ever had this, but a strong drink of this, is very similar to cactus. Its thick, its bitter, it has the overwhelming taste of concentrated alkaloids ... oh but its 1000 X worse than cactus! Its so bad that even in writing this I can still taste it, Im feeling sick right now just thinking about it....but if its tastes bad going down, you dont even wanna think about what its gunna taste like when its coming up, and up, and up, and up ... ad infinitum.

But I got it all down without too much fuss, and really, I wasnt even thinking that anything was going to happen, I knew it tasted bitter, which is a good sign, but I didnt think the harmala was going to work and so my body would break the dmt down before it got a chance to act. Boy was I wrong.

So I got my place ready, just in case, I lit some candles, incense, got it nice and warm like only a heatpump can ... and then I sat at my computer ... it was about 30mins in and I thought Id have another 30mins to wait before anything happened ... so I was watching an episode of True Blood where the crazy maynad woman was turning into a god and giving all the townfolk the crazies and making them fuck and fight each other, and it all seemed real weird to me .. more than it was I mean ... and then BAM!!!!!!!!!!! the most intense feeling hit me, like I nearly fell off my chair because my entire equilibrium was knocked for a six. And my vision started to go blurry round the edges. This happened in the space of one minute, and I knew enough about these things to realise that if it was so strong to bypass the come-up entirely, then it was going to be next level strong. In a state of complete discombobulation, I managed to boot up my music folder, close True Blood (for the best really, as the devil themes were a bit fucked) and select the first album I saw and thought would suit, which was Fever Ray (self titled) ... not sure if you know the album but I suggest you go find it, its beautiful!

After this, I stood up and stumbled around for a bit, my aim was to lie down on my bed, 3 ft away, didnt happen. Soon as I stood up, I felt an entity crawling its way out of my stomach and ran, crashing into evrything, to the toilet. Hurled the most foul tasting shit ever, and hurled again, and again, as the taste is SO bad that it makes my body unable to do anything but gag when it tastes it. When I stopped, I realised that I was shaking, my whole body was shaking from head to toe ... not a hot cold thing, but a vibration thing. I went to the sink and cleaned my face off and looked in the mirror, and its true, I wasnt just thinking it, I was shaking all over, my whole body was actually spasming ... this didnt stop for about 3 hours. But I soon forgot about that as the next bout of vomitting had taken over and I found my head in the toilet very quickly ... this time I spewed so much that I had no idea where it was all coming from (I had fasted for 24hrs prior to this so I really only had liquids in my stomach), AND it tasted worse than the first time.... by this point I had an inclination that I had gone a little bit far. I mean, I know that the purge is something that is expected but well, I knew this was only beginning.... and well, this is where is starts to go a bit wrong.

Ok so Im spewing and spewing so violently that I havent noticed a stirring of something else happening, and before its too late, nothing I can do about it, the most extremely vile diarrohea EXPLODES and there aint shit (ha) I can do about it
because Im spewing my guts out, and then my bladder gives out too ... at this stage Im shaking from head to toe, Ive got spew all over the sides of the toilet and down my front, and my pants are full of shit and piss. I think to myself, this is it, youve done it, youve broken yourself, your probably going to die tonight. Which as far as everything taken into consideration, isnt such a weird thing to think.

I finish spewing for the time being and take off all my clothes, the effluent is now kinda all over the floor so I try to mop it up with my clothes and then put them into the washing machine which is conveniently right next to where Im kneeling. I crawl to the shower, the movement of this makes me spew again and Im past caring so I just spew all over the floor, crawl into the shower and turn it on. Im sitting in the shower washing the foulness off me, but its hard because every time Im nearly clean, Ill spew or piss or shit everywhere and then I gotta get clean again. But I get there. Then I turn the shower off, crawl out of it, forgetting that I spewed up before I got in, and slip, face first into a puddle of my own sick. I grab a towel, mop it up, put that in the w.machine, and back into the shower. Then I get clean, crawl out of the shower and feel a huge spew coming on, but a huge shit slipping out too, WHAT TO DO!??! So I pull myself up onto the toilet and spew onto the floor again. And, this position is where I sit for the next 3 hours. Shitting pissing in the toilet and spewing onto the floor in front of me. My vomit seeps into the carpet and Im hallucinating that its seeping through the floor, I look at the toilet and it looks like its cracking around the base of it and I imagine that any minute its going to fall through the floor and Im going to end up in the indians apartment below me in a pile of shit and spew and mangled body/ceramic toilet.

Its going pretty wrong right? Right? But the thing is, aside from the physical symptoms, Im tripping harder and maybe more satisfying than I ever have before ... and Im kinda smiling. But yeah, its so wrong at the same time and I just dont know what to think, and Im worried Im dying, not so worried that I need to call someone, tho I do consider it, but I dont make any sense at all and being cohesive on the phone is laughable. Im paranoid that my neighbours have heard me (and Im sure they did because all that exploding ISNT quiet) and that theyre gonna knock on my door and check on me, this is a fear I have all night. Having someone discover me in this state, Id prolly get locked up and put somewhere for crazy people. But that doesnt happen, as dont the other 5000 things Im paranoid about happening right now. The music of Fever Ray is going thru me like crazy, its rattling around inside and wont stop echoing off into infinity ... I stand up to turn the lights off, fall over, crawl to the lights, spew onto the floor, crawl back to the toilet, and the music is sparking fireworks of colors in front of me, eyes open ... weird. And also everytime I spew or shit, its the same thing, colors everywhere. I think about something I read in (possibly) a Terence McKenna book about native tribal peoples who would take ayahuasca, and then use the spew/shit (and possibly semen) as a means to see into the future. At this point it doesnt even seem so impossible, not that Im so fucked that I would try such a thing.

But then the thoughts gone, infact, I cant hold onto a single thought for more than a couple of seconds ... but I keep going back to the pan maynad type creature in True Blood and thinking about the earth and blood sacrifice and gods and devils and orgies and debauchery and well, everything pagan in nature I guess ... and its all really crazy... and Fever Ray is just humming with these thoughts.

Then everything goes dark, I guess I must have passed out. I come to lying on the floor, in the familiar position of lying in my own spew and shit again ... and Im getting a bit over this experience, but I still feel like its getting stronger and stronger ... I cant stand up, not even half way, but Im sweating like a pig sweats on a hot summer day, and I need to turn off the heat pump. So I crawl into the lounge, but Ive left the remote for it on top of the t.v, and I can even get close to it, every time I try to stand or even kneel, I nearly spew ... it seriously takes me about 30mins to get it. I turn it off and start to cool down. Go back to my normal position on the toilet, grab another towel for the effluent all over the floor, wipe it up, throw it into the w.machine (which is getting full now lol) and pray to everything around that hopefully I can come down soon ... The Fever Ray album has been playing for literally hours now and I figure I must have hit the replay button before I got to the bathroom, thats not a bad thing because its a great album ... but later when everythings become a bit clearer, I find that the album had only played once, and that Ive been hearing things for the last 2 hours ... fucked.

I guess thats mostly my experience ... strong as trip, punctuated by the worst and most agonising sickness Ive EVER (without a doubt) had. After I came down enuff to crawl into bed, I still ended up spewing on my bedroom floor once before I had the sense to grab a bucket and put it next to me. I slept all the next day and didnt have the stomach to eat until the day after that ... the experience drained me like nothing Ive ever had before. I believe I had what we can safely say is a TOXIC dose of psychedelics, beyond heroic, into the stupid realm. Be careful, dont be a silly boy like me. But you know what, I kind of like that Ive experienced this. I went through it, I feel perhaps stronger as a result. And weirdly, I think its helped me to rediscover an interest in psychedelics. Tho I dont think I can handle ayahuasca for a while methinks, if ever again :)

Hope you enjoyed my tale and felt adequately nauseous, please take my stupidity and laziness as a warning to all who think improper dosages are fun.

much love

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 86773
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Aug 13, 2010	Views: 9,211
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Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Syrian Rue (45), Huasca Combo (269) : Alone (16), Hangover / Days After (46), Difficult Experiences (5)