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Death and Beyond
5-MeO-DMT
by Rew
Citation:   Rew. "Death and Beyond: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp87426)". Erowid.org. Oct 7, 2010. erowid.org/exp/87426

 
DOSE:
3 hits smoked 5-MeO-DMT (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 145 lb
Erowid Note: While the author reported the substance used as 5-MeO-DMT, and references 5-MeO-DMT in the report, he also refers to 'DMT' in the report. 5-MeO-DMT and DMT are different substances entirely and their names are NOT interchangeable. This report is categorized as a 5-MeO-DMT report, and it is assumed that the author means 5-MeO-DMT and not DMT. However, because of the ambiguity in the substance name, it is uncertain whether the author is speaking about 5-MeO-DMT throughout the report or not.]

I would like to start this off by saying that this was my very first DMT trip. I considered myself a pretty good hallucinogenic traveler before that night, but now... I really know what a hallucinogen is. And there is no controlling this one.

It was 12:23am, a Tuesday night under a full moon. It was me, my brother, and my best friend outside my house. They had agreed to document my trip. I had gotten ahold of some 5-MeO-DMT acouple days prior, I told myself to save DMT for later in life, but had agreed to myself that if I ever found REAL 5-MeO-DMT I would jump on the oppurtunity. Needless to say I keep my promises. After the purchase I was skeptical, but decided to give it a go that night to be sure It was real.

I didn't have the correct paraphernalia for this to go down the way I wanted it to, so I took a good sized glass spoon and loaded some hindu kush at the bottom of the bowl, I put 20mg of those yellowish crystals right on top of that bowl, and sat down in a lawn chair out in the moonlight. As I got comfortable I noticed my setting was very dark, sillhoutes of trees and distant sounds of wildlife surrounded me. I wondered if it would change my trip. I took a moment to myself and wondered if it was a good idea to trek onward sitting in darkness. I decided to go ahead.

'Ready? I got the timer.'

'Yeah, get ready to catch this bowl if I go right out.'

'Sure thing.'

I flicked my lighter and simmered the bowl, I took a big long inhale and held it in for 10 seconds. The hit tasted a little funny, but I knew it wasnt enough. I held the pipe up to my lips and simmered the top of the bowl, the smoke seemed thicker almost immediately, it was a nasty plastic chemical taste that filled my lungs. I got a good hit.

I counted backwards from 10 in my head, by the time I got to 4 my vision was buzzing, then colors emerged from the trees. Light was being created from the darkness, and inside of these lights were hundereds of fractals spinning and interchanging within the others.

I still felt within my body, I hadn't gone far enough I thought. Maybe one more hit...
I held the pipe up to my lips once more. This simple act seemed extremely difficult at the time being, I couldnt keep focus on what was where, and my depth perception was shot. I couldnt make out where the pipe ended and where it began!

'Let us asume a third toke...'

The shpongle reference caught me offgaurd and I laughed abruptly. The hit was gone, but so was I...

The fractals began to spin faster, and faster, and faster. The colors became brighter and brighter and brighter. I felt like I was moving up and then down quicker and quicker until the movement just subsided into intense vibration. I looked down to see if I was shaking or if it was just the trip. The sight of my torso shocked me, as I was well convinced that I was melting into nothingness. By the time that I looked around myself I couldnt feel the ground, I couldnt feel a god damn thing. Not even emotion.

Time was gone, my friend and brother, both gone. I could sense their presence which I cant really describe, but they were thousands of miles away as far as I was concerned. I looked around and saw nothing, complete isolation from everything in every direction. Lost in a colorless universe, and I was its only inhabitant.
If you remember that part in the first Matrix movie when neo and morpheous are in the loading chamber, that white room with only a couch and a TV. It was kind of like that except there was no floor or anything else but this unlimited bleakness.

Suddenly i felt color beginning to sink through the nothingness, since time wasn't a factor I can't tell you how long it took to leave this place, but I can tell you I left it by falling through this nothingness and into another universe. The feeling of being torn and contorted throughout this falling experiance felt like an intense salvia trip while sky diving. The journey downward was also inhabited by entities. Some were so far away I could only sense that they were there, some were very close.
I only got the name of one of them (Or maybe can only remember this one) but there was this elephant like alien with golden piercings wearing a red toga like thing, the wrinkles in this toga were completely morphing throughout. I wanted to touch the soft material it looked to be made of, but I couldnt reach it. Something kept me from it.

'Byu' He said.

I felt so happy that I was about to talk to a spirit, but before I knew it, he was gone. Just another being wizzing by, and I couldn't slow down. I stopped, in an instant I was no longer moving, and the gravity felt as though it shifted. I was in another place now, I knew it. But where? Another area of lonley hyperspace I thought. This place was like the first place I visited, but much worse. There wasn't any light, and I once again felt nothing.

I realized then that I wasnt myself, I wasn't anything anymore. I had been broken down into nothingness, into oblivion. I felt as though the darkness was more of a something than I. I'm fucking dead I thought. There is no other explanation. I felt nothingness, like my brain had just been paused and I was still taking in my surroundings unwillingly. I felt comatose.

The thought that I would never find myself again scared the shit out of me, I felt a fear right then and there that I have never felt before. In my delirium I remembered I was without a body, I began searching for it in this place thinking I might be able to find my way out of here. I couldn't find it. I tried so hard... I felt as though I had failed myself. I could not venture onward because I had failed and lost myself in this black hole of nothingness.

I looked up and saw no stars, no beings... And then it hit me like a kick in the nuts...I have a head! wait, no I have a whole body! I thought. I saw my hands first, then my arms, By that time I was coming down so fast I was already back on earth, sitting in my chair like nothing had happened.

'What the FUCK?!' I said with anger.

'Bam, 7 minutes.'

They were taking pleasure in my discomfort, I was squirming around the chair, my muscles felt the way they do after a good nights sleep. I stretched, and couldn't believe that I was back. I really thought I was dead. It was then i realized this trip wasn't over, I had just overcome the worst of it. I had been to hell and back and wasn't anywhere close to coming down.

'You alright man? Something freak you out? You want a cig?'

'I can't, not now...'

'Yeah, wait dude, he still has a lot of time on the clock.'

'I think I can walk though, I think I can...'

I could feel the ground again, that was something I knew existed that way only in my realm. I stood up from the chair real slow and staggered around my backyard. I felt heavy and weightless at the same time, I felt like eyes were staring me down from all directions and I was an enemy here. I just gotta steer this trip I thought, This is my realm and my home, they're the strangers here. I couldn't do it. This trip was relentless, and though I could stand for a brief moment but now every step was becoming more and more challenging, I just need to sit still I thought.

I leaned against a tree and noticed the forest behind it. Thousands of trees. They lifted my hopes and connected with me, I felt so much better all of the sudden! I was feeling happiness. I was overwhelmed with happiness. I leaned on that tree for a good while, soaking in the feeling of oneness with the forest around me. I was back.

The feeling it left me with I could only describe with the rise of a good shroom trip. That feeling like your in another deminsion. After this experiance I haven't taken any more DMT. I thought I was ready and really I wasn't.

In conclusion I think if your considering to try this substance start with a lower dose, get the feel for these weird realms and then jump down that rabbit hole with no parachute. It's nothing like acid, or shrooms, or salvia, or mescaline. This shit is strong and shouldn't be used for partying.

I don't regret this experiance, but I will tell you that for weeks after my trip, when I experianced death that night It wasn't easy to get over. I thought about it a lot. But I have come to terms with myself since and am ready to try a second time. Good luck to all you travelers out there! Get ready to experiance Divine Moments of Truth.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 87426
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Oct 7, 2010Views: 4,827
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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