DOSE:			Cannabis
			Alcohol
			Various

BODY WEIGHT:

100 kg

It is not my place to recommend or condemn substance abuse, but I can give an account of mine. I am now almost 37, but I still feel the effects of my activities since the age of 14, when I first took drugs deliberately.

At 14, I shared ca. 500 ‘magic’ mushrooms with my friend, and had a long, odd, but enjoyable experience. 14-year-olds have no preconceptions, so things like imaginary creatures were a source of humour rather than doubt.

On the very day of my 15th birthday, I received a joint as a present. Cannabis and LSD became my staple diet; I am a musician and author, and I must confess that I am unsure if my capabilities in these areas might have flagged had I not been so in love with cannabis by the age of 17. Problems began to present themselves as I turned 18, however: unavailability of cannabis led me to seek psychotropic solace in psylocibin – magic mushrooms, liberty caps, call them what you will – and I found myself dining on something I didn’t even like the taste of for at least eight days in a row. Something had to give, and when strong weed appeared, I smoked it hungrily, approximately five minutes before my mind fell apart. My cousin and brother were laughing at the thought of me having a bad experience with grass, but in my eyes I threw myself away and defended against scorn, rather than humour. There followed a LONG night. This experience was, two years later, diagnosed as an acute, psychotic, nervous breakdown.

In the meantime, the only drug I can think of that I didn’t take in order to cope with my thoughts is crack – perhaps I was possessed of some trepidation, but in reality, I think I was more afraid of losing friends to such an easily-acquired dependency. I was grateful to the world when I remained unimpressed after smoking heroin, yet I have been a heavy drinker ever since that episode at the age of 18; beforehand I never even knew what a hangover was, barring a sore head.

And so I say: Do Not Take Your Mind for Granted. I’ve returned into the throng of alcohol dependency through having a good memory of how I USED to feel. I’m beginning a course of Olanzapine for that very reason, starting tonight. Please wish me well, and please don’t ever think that you need a frame of reference to gauge your sanity, for as we say in Scotland, “If it’s no broke dinnae fix it.”

Exp Year: 1992	ExpID: 88583
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Feb 15, 2011	Views: 6,095
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Cannabis (1), Various (136) : Health Problems (27), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)