DOSE:

1 g

oral

Caffeine

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

Was hanging around with the usual group of friends, seven or eight of us total, when J says that K was saying that she heard that taking two of the big Rockstar (energy drink) and one of the small 8 hour blue bullets would give you an experience much like that of ecstasy.

'Ridiculous,' I exclaimed because it occurred to me that the principal contents of energy drinks are caffeine, caffeine, various derivatives of crotch sweat (for flavour), water, and more caffeine. However, being a man of science with poor impulse control we stopped at the corner kwik-e-mart and filled a sack with various gym sock flavoured beverages and some gum that claimed to be extreme in ways heretofore unexperienced by mankind. It must have been true, because it was barely contained in its (extreme) metal sleeve, but the (extreme) 99-cent clearance price could have been seen as a counter point. Either way we took off merrily with our bag full of bad ideas and mentally prepared for an evening of vaguely predicted side effects extrapolated from the general familiarity with caffeine. I am not a fan of the coffees or hard teas preferring instead an authentic blend of 23 flavours established in 1885, served chilled in a large mug, but that heavenly brew contains only a third of the mg/ml as this effluence.

Arriving back at the house we set about busy work while I cracked open the pack of gum and did some arithmaticking to figure out exactly how much of what was coming my way and between all sources it was looking like a gram. Figuring sooner was better than later I set to the Sisyphean task of consuming all this drainwater: two large cans of extreme beverage, one small bottle of trucker's friend, and a half a pack of gum intended for brain damaged skateboarders.

Now set and setting are instrumental in any experience, this is a truism of human emotion, and so being the guinea pig of a Friday night full of friends it sets one's energy at a high from the get go. In no short order the caffeine was doing exactly what it's supposed to do and I was bouncing around the house. Initially it was exuberance, being in motion just felt right and without conscious consideration my participation in conversations occurred on the go, walking in circles or pacing around even the smallest of spaces. This lasted perhaps twenty minutes before the tone changed. While the motion had been initially effortless it soon became a manifestation of restlessness and irritation. Everything was becoming uncomfortable to touch or hear or look at and being still was out of the question but motion brought its own problems because gut rot followed shortly behind irritation.

This may have less to do with the caffeine and more to do with the couple litres of extreme working its way through my system, but an intense though poorly defined feeling of sick set in. Soon I was in misery. My point had been proven, there was no MDMA euphoria or stilled time waiting at the bottom of those cans, only suffering.

For the remaining several hours of the evening some of the females showed minor amounts of pity for my pitiable situation and we watched some films on the picture tube which I assume the others enjoyed. I did not enjoy them because I could not watch them: my brain was now full of marbles and rubber bands, distraction and irritation, and my gut was full of evil. I wished nothing more than to be able to roll over into the paralysis and oblivion of sleep and wake up the morrow on the other side of this terrible swampland, but a gram of caffeine is a wonderful, zealous guardian against sleep and so sleep stayed away.

Eventually everyone went their proper ways perhaps six hours after ingestion and I slunk into my room to wish death upon myself. After some time of laying in bed chasing sleep I took a hot shower and some chamomile tea to try and settle my nerves and stomach. Neither did much of anything, but it was a decent enough placebo for my attitude and I was eventually able to get some restless sleep.

The following day was marked with exhaustion and a general soreness of the body on top of the usual vows of 'never again.'

I also called K and said 'I told you so.'

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 90936
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Nov 14, 2013	Views: 21,862
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Caffeine (11) : Difficult Experiences (5), Overdose (29), Small Group (2-9) (17)