DOSE:

6 hits

oral

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

I was suffering from severe opiate addiction at the time of this dose. I had been battling addiction for nearly three years, and had managed a few months clean by use of methadone to wean. The cravings and psychological addiction never went away, and I relapsed as soon as someone offered me Roxicodone. I spiraled right back into addiction, and after only a few months, was injecting up to half a gram of heroin/ 10 30mg Roxicodone a day into my veins. I desperately wanted to quit, but could not find a viable treatment option. I tried cold turkey, and in my first three days of cessation, I suffered severe and disturbing auditory and visual hallucinations, tremors, shaking, disturbing thoughts, and extreme sensitivity to light and touch.

I managed 9 days clean total, but relapsed again because I could not handle the nausea and diarrhea anymore. I got worse over the next two weeks, until I heard about the use of psychedelics in addiction treatment. I was informed that Ibogaine has the highest success rate, but could not find any. After learning that LSD had a hand in the founder of AA’s recovery, I decided to give it a try. After all, it couldn’t hurt. I figured 6 hits would do the trick.

When my peak first started, I felt very uneasy. I almost felt like I was going through acute withdrawals, but to a much lesser degree. My whole body tingled, and I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. Very discomforting thoughts began circulating in my mind, and I felt claustrophobic. I was with three close friends, and despite the fact that they left me alone, I still felt overwhelmed. I began tripping harder, and felt more and more uncomfortable. I wanted to scream but could not get the words out.
At some point I realized that I hadn’t fixed up in a while, but the people who owned the house I was at would be furious if I did it there. So I dealt with it. After a few hours, the uncomfortable thoughts broke into a major moment of clarity—I realized that I was spending disgusting amounts of money to ruin my body, life, and friendships by shooting drugs into my veins, for a high that made me largely non-functional. It made no sense. And almost anything makes sense on LSD, so if it made no sense while tripping, it just MADE NO SENSE. I pondered this for about two hours before I decided that I did not need opiates. I didn’t feel like doing them anymore. I was wasting all my time, dealing with shady people, getting robbed and ripped off, and many times, running out of drugs and having to be dope-sick. And if I did not need them, and did not want to do them, I shouldn’t do them. So I quit.

That’s the best explanation for it. I just quit. After all this mental exhaustion, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I felt mild flu-like symptoms (physical opiate withdrawals) but absolutely no mental withdrawals. The desire and drive to use were simply lifted from me. I spent a few days in bed, and treated myself as if I had the flu. After a couple days I felt fine, though I had night sweats and mild feverish symptoms for about another week (these were barely noticeable.)

I have not done opiates since, although the opportunity has presented itself many times. I simply tell people “I don’t do that,” because I don’t. Despite this newfound mental strength immediately after quitting, I felt almost like a newborn baby with no real knowledge of self. The only thing I truly knew was that I was not addicted to drugs, and did not want to be. Since then, I have rediscovered old hobbies and friends, and keep myself occupied with healthy and stimulating activities. I am also enrolled in college, with a major in physics. I was in school at the time, and I went from failing to B-grades within a month of quitting simply by focusing all the effort I would have spent using into school. I have also aided the process of recovery through use of psychedelics, as they stimulate my mind and help me discover and re-discover parts of who I am.

This process is far from over, but I am happy to share the experience which jump-started my recovery, and add another small tally to the people who recognize the medicinal properties of psychedelic use.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91097
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Sep 23, 2017	Views: 4,972
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