DOSE:

2 joints/cigs

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

Sitting on the church steps one December night in 1971, with 4 or 5 friends. Several joints of alleged good weed were passed around. I had smoked a few times before, but didn't believe I had ever experienced a high. A few minutes after smoking, a hot wind blew through my midsection like a punch to the stomach. WTF?

Oh yeah, must be the marijuana. Not a very pleasant feeling.

Next, my left arm stops reporting in. That's scary. Am I ready for this? To distract myself, I start a conversation with one of my friends. My voice sounds a bit distant, and is coming from somewhere other than my face. I have to get up and move about. I decide to walk up the street and visit the corner gas station, where a friend works. A buddy decides to go with me.

Time is screwed up, and my anxiety level is climbing. By the time we get there, I am extremely agitated. Maybe I have been hyperventilating, I don't know...but the left side of my head is numb and tingling. Then it gets really strange. Something inside my head is tensing up and releasing in sequence with severe visual distortions. I can focus on something, but when the tension releases it zooms away and becomes very small. It is as if I am suddenly looking through the wrong end of binoculars.

Concurrent with these symptoms, is the feeling that I am fighting for consciousness - I am strobing in and out of consciousness. I am consumed by an overwhelming sense of dread. I am dying. I am now in a total agitated panic. I end up in the emergency room. My symptoms subside somewhat. I am released. I do not sleep for the next two weeks. I have no appetite. I lose all sexual function. I don't feel real, and the mirror's image no longer greets me. My anxiety reaction has propelled me into my first major depressive episode. I have agoraphobia, and am afraid to leave the house. I am afraid to be alone. I don't understand any of this.

I an never diagnosed or treated. I will suffer frequent panic attacks and opthalmic migraines for the next 20 years. Over the next 40 years, I will survive 4 more episodes of major depression, which take years from my life.

Was it me, or the marihuana? I had my share of adjustment problems as a teenager. But, I never knew anxiety like that which was released by cannabis. For 40 years, I refused to believe it was me. But, now I believe it was me. But, the marihuana opened the flood gates. Anxiety reactions are not uncommon. Medical authorities are undecided as to whether such reactions can progress to full blown major depressive episodes.

Exp Year: 1971	ExpID: 91596
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Feb 21, 2023	Views: 286
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Cannabis (1) : Depression (15), Post Trip Problems (8), Health Problems (27), Small Group (2-9) (17)