DOSE:		oral	MDMA
	1 hit	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

Normally I don't participate in Nitrous. A friend of a friend died from huffing it in a less than intelligent way and it had turned me off to the concept. It just didn't feel safe. But I was at a festival with some friends, chilling in our tent, each of us on a small dose of MDMA, and figured I'd take a couple hits, just to experience it.

The first hit was incredibly enjoyable. I closed my eyes and my mouth hung open in a euphoric expression and I rocked back and forth, just enjoying the feel of everything. It didn't last very long, and I came back from it without issue.

A friend mentioned how great it felt to take a hit and then get a massage, so a friend of mine who considers himself a shaman suggested I take a hit and he do some body work on me. My own personal belief systems follow that of a shaman of the new age so I was all about this.

First, he taught me a really cool stretch of the arms and fingers that takes a lot of discipline. Upon succeeding, it had put me into a fantastic mindset where I felt zen and determined. I don't remember if we did this before or after the suggestion of nitrous and body work.

I leaned into him and he taught me a chant that we repeated together, rocking back and forth as another friend played a tribal beat on her djembe. I took a moment to concentrate on my breathing, waited until I had completely exhaled all air from my body, and had him administer the hit. Now, I'm a singer, so I know how to take a full breath. So I inhaled until my diaphragm and lungs were completely full.

Immediately, I blasted off. The drumbeat had sped up to sound like a tape being rewound or fast-forwarded incredibly fast. Everything I viewed was moving at hyper speed, blurring everything into one solid unmoving image of red, orange, yellow, and green color. I didn't know that's what was happening, I couldn't decipher it as so until I started to come back from the trip. I felt completely disconnected from my body. At first, I thought I had died, and I was okay with the concept, very calm. I'm not afraid of death. But then I tried to pull away from this weird place and start exploring the realm of unmaterialized consciousness, and couldn't move on. So I knew I hadn't died, but that meant I had to figure out what *had* happened. So I figured I had entered into a vegetative state and would be comatose for God knew how long. And I felt deep remorse and fear about this, because this place wasn't pleasant if it meant I had to be stuck there. The high pitched tone did not help abolish my fear, in fact, it only made it worse. I wondered what I appeared like to my friends, if they were worried about me. I wanted them to know that I wasn't okay. I said 'Make it stop,' and could hear myself say it, so that meant I wasn't a vegetable. But I didn't leave the place. Now I was convinced I had gone into some strange level of insanity where all I would be able to see for the rest of my days was this strange place and would forever hear the high-speed high-pitched tone. I said 'Sweet Jesus, make it stop.'

And suddenly the world began to come back to me. It was like in a movie, when a character comes back from unconsciousness. The hyper speed vision separated into multiple copies of the images before me ('how many fingers am I holding up?' '7...' type of deal), and they swirled around until it all came back into the one image of my friend sitting in front of me, the tent walls, all that shit. The drumming sounded like normal drumming again, and I followed its tones back into the normal world. Everyone was staring at me in awe. Slowly I sat up and gazed at everyone, in the most intense state of 'what the fuck just happened' and incredible gratitude. I was alive and well. I recounted the events of what had happened; no one there had ever experienced anything like that. When I asked what I looked like, they said I was just slumped there, staring at nothing, blank and calm.

I have NO IDEA what happened. But WHAT an experience!! After retelling the tale, I felt unbelievably charged, because I was alive and not a vegetable (and rolling even harder off of the MDMA). I was so grateful to be alive, and coming back from the experience made me even more excited for life, which helped me work through some of my own personal shit. I went outside with some of the friends, bowed to the waxing moon, and sang 'Disposition/Reflection' by Tool with all my heart and soul, my voice echoing off the mountains in the distance. It was amazing.

......wouldn't really recommend it, though. Shit's incredibly dangerous. I can't help but wonder if I accidentally asphyxiated myself. I may have been at the very brink of death, but just got lucky. Until I know more about what the fuck happened to me, again I say : NOT RECOMMENDED.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 93960
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Mar 10, 2016	Views: 3,309
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MDMA (3), Nitrous Oxide (40) : General (1), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)