I Met God
DXM
Citation: dan. "I Met God: An Experience with DXM (exp9464)". Erowid.org. Oct 29, 2023. erowid.org/exp/9464
DOSE: |
500 mg | oral | DXM | (liquid) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 200 lb |
[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
About 12:45AM we arrived back at the dorm and hung around. V was obviously blazed and was staring at the telephone cord on the floor and R was at his computer typing. I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out how to kill the awful taste in my mouth from the “TUSSIN”. 1:00AM as usual the effects of the first plateau snuck up on me and the realization of the effects brought my nausea down and gave me relief. The effects of the first, and subtlest, plateau turned into the second. I was and am still, the most comfortable in the second plateau, the heavy intoxicated yet not impaired feeling, is a source of relief for me from school and life in general. I decided to go for a walk, some of the most fun one can ever have on DXM in the second plateau is movement. They decided to come with me, so we stepped outside and walked out of the dormitory commons.
On my way down one of the hills that make up our campus I encountered a different feeling. I was in a dream. I really thought I was in a dream. I promptly walked up to a tree and punched it hard. I felt pain. However mild, it was enough to convince me that I was not in a dream. After this point I can't be entirely sure what it was that happened. I got to a point on my journey where I felt I could go no higher, even though I was rising steadily. I felt my body lose feeling all over in waves (somehow my legs continued to function) and the world around me was changing. I was more aware of the enormity of things. I felt the power of man's great achievements flow into my head, and I was proud.
I knew that I had finally overcome the boundaries of the 2nd plateau and entered the 3rd. I had no visual hallucinations as I thought I would. My vision started to stretch out even though my depth perception was all screwed up. I could no longer feel certain emotions, e.g.: animosity toward terrorists, or even anger. I lost, however briefly, all respect for love. I remember thinking “love is stupid”. I needed relief from these feelings so I started talking; this is when my friend started asking me rhetorical and philosophical questions. I remember trying to answer a few of them and having difficulty speaking coherently. “If only I could speak in images” I remember thinking something like that.
Soon we had reached the top of the hill and my friend’s questions turned to religion. I am a Christian and when asked if god existed I couldn’t answer him. This bothered me deeply. Words cannot describe my frustration and disappointment in myself for not being able to respond to such an easy question. I began to make a strange “ung” type noise comparable to a looney freaking out. I believe I almost lost it. Suddenly and frequently, I remember things just done, fading from my memory. I tried to hold on but couldn’t. As an effect of this I would stop walking and ask where we were. My friends would respond with: “We are going for a walk.” This was usually enough to get me to continue until the next time the memory loss occurred. I would also ask constantly what the smell was (my friends were smoking cigarillos, the vanilla type). When they responded with it’s the smokes, I would tell them that I was looking for something. It reminded me of some hidden truth in my subconscious that I couldn’t find.
I felt so much sadness and desperation. I might have lost it again if I hadn’t the memory problem. Then I had the most incredible experience of my life. I was in-between the two science and tech buildings when I was struck again by the massive power of the buildings. Pride filled me to overflowing until I thought I could hold no more esteem for the human race. Then I looked at the sky. I was filled with awe for the power of the universe. The expanses of the universe overtook me and I wanted to cry out in terror and in joy, I almost lost my mind again. I stared at the stars and contemplated myself versus the universe. The relation of myself to the stars and my apparent insignificance, multiple philosophies disproved or proved at once in my mind. I saw God’s work for all it was worth and I knew him through it.
I stared at the stars and contemplated myself versus the universe. The relation of myself to the stars and my apparent insignificance, multiple philosophies disproved or proved at once in my mind. I saw God’s work for all it was worth and I knew him through it.
Soon however, my memory forbade me to go any further and my friends lost patience with my silent vigil to the heavens. We started moving again and I think I asked what we were doing, shortly after I was back inside. How I got there, I don’t know. I started to come down enough to make sense to others. Around 3:00 AM I saw Bill Nye the Science Guy on TV and quickly exclaimed: “That’s it! That’s the smell!” “Bill Nye is the smell?” Was the shocked response? “Yup”. I really think it was another connection, a connection between a vanilla smell, Bill Nye, and something wholly important to my being here today.
That about sums up my DXM experience. I am remembering this as I type a day later. I feel that I fell into the universe (my head) and lived there forever. I am changed. I can’t look at things the same way again.
Exp Year: 2001 | ExpID: 9464 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Oct 29, 2023 | Views: 80 |
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Dreams (85), DXM (22) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5) |
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