DOSE:	1 glass	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine	(liquid)
	unknown ug	oral	LSD	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

Scared and Sleepless

Now this was December, my first semester of my sophomore year was over, all my finals and final projects were handed in done and over-with. I was in the mood to celebrate so I decided to go out to the club with my roommate and a few of our friends. I was hanging out in a friends room (who wasn’t joining us on a night out) he had a Visine bottle that was once full of liquid LSD and since then been used up and only some dried remnants were left in the bottle. My friend informed me since the LSD in the bottle had been distilled in alcohol he planned to cut up the bottle and let the remnants dissolve in some wine. I figured ‘what the hell’ I wanted a fun night and hadn’t tripped in a while the bottle of wine was split between 4 people so I figured I wouldn’t be getting much anyway. (So wrong)

My roommate and a few of the group I was with knew I was tripping. The rest of the group would simply think I was just drunk. I had my glass of wine and immediately headed out for the night. (10pm) For the beginning of the car ride I felt fine. I began to feel mostly the buzz of anticipation. Putting my face out the window just to feel the winter cold on my face. As soon as we were in the heart of the city I felt something come on, it wasn’t pleasant at all it was a panic with a lot of nausea. Towards the end of the ride to the club I had to vomit out the window, a lot of the water I had just drank and some of the wine came up and on to the side of my roommates car. I was more embarrassed than anything and insisted we still go to the club. Upon parking I felt another wave of nausea and sat by the car for a little with one of my friends who I just then informed of my trip. I was getting intense visuals already. The parking lot gravel I was sitting upon was churning like waves. The buildings around us started to wobble around the edges. I was scared because this was the most intense trip I ever experienced and it was only an hour after I had taken it.

I sat with my friend and called my boyfriend who wasn’t aware of my tripping but knew I was at the club. I told him how I was, my current situation, my thoughts, and feelings, I could tell he was a little angry I didn’t inform him I would be tripping that night but he put his feelings aside and talked to me for a few minutes just to ease me and make sure I would be alright. After a delightful conversation, we (my friend and I) went to the club me feeling positive and beginning to enjoy my trip. My visuals were still intense and I began to have audio distortions, entering the club which was playing house music. Entering the doorway felt (more sounded) like slipping into a vortex. Getting to the dance floor I found my group we danced under brilliant light affects the people surrounding me resembled holograms my movements seemed fluid and I was laughing and having a great time. After a half an hour or so I began to feel dizzy. So I went outside for some fresh air.

I sat outside staring at street lamps which were emitting flexing beams of light and my environment was constantly changing colors. I struck up a conversation with a homeless man asking me for change, he asked me if I was alright I assured him and returned inside the club.

The dizziness was still present now accompanied by unimaginably thirst. I went to the bathroom which was a unisex bathroom so putting my head under the water faucet and taking a moment to meditate on the floor was accepted and simply went unnoticed. The feeling of thirst didn’t go away and I felt very uncomfortable. I called my boyfriend again to simply have a conversation to distract me (still on the floor of the bathroom). I was watching the lines of the tiles distort and melt together with the edges of people shoes which I continued to stare at. A few people asked me if I was alright. I assured them all. A man whom at this point in time I am not sure was real or not. A middle aged man with tan skin and grey hair, dressed very professionally and seem like he didn’t belong at this dance club. He asked me if I was alright and I told him I was, and he returned to the bathroom a few times at least it seemed that way because every time I looked up from the floor he was someplace else in the bathroom always looking at me. Once while urinating at a urinal giving a smile which from his face constantly shifting and moving seemed really scary and evil. I didn’t pay much attention to him since I was still on the phone with my boyfriend. But that man scared me and put some of my thoughts in a spindle. I talked to my boyfriend for TWO AND A HALF HOURS on the floor of the bathroom. Then my roommate got me informed me how long I had been sitting there I said my goodbyes to my boyfriend. We left the club I felt much better after leaving holding hands with my friend who stayed with me at the car and I laughed calling her “my sister in the voyage of this galaxy”. We got in the car with only my roommate and ‘my sister’ and myself sprawled out in the back seat. We drove around the city. I was so taken up in the beauty of it I had to call my boyfriend again and tell him about it. We were driving around and my visuals were less apparent my thoughts were miles away. I was very lovey-dovey on the phone with my boyfriend just talking about our past experiences and how even now we were having an experience even if we weren’t together.

We returned to my dorm its about 2am now. My roommate has gone to bed since she wasn’t feeling well. I’m pretending to be a dinosaur crawling and roaring around my room. I’m in the whirlwind of needing things to do. I’m drawing in ink watching the smoothness of my brush strokes become jagged edged creatures on paper. I love to write out words and thoughts outside of your head they look prettier. I do this for about an hour after growing restless I change out of club wear and into cozy threads. I’m restless and decide to venture into the basement of my dorm. I decided to do a mural on the wall (which is still there). Mostly spiraled words and phrases. With some galaxies and stars strewn about.

At this point I’m getting a bit restless my thoughts are starting to race. I try to distract myself back in my room by watching my favorite anime (One Piece, nothing too plot heavy just some humorous filler episodes). Cuddling with a unicorn stuffed animal my boyfriend gave me named Hexagon. My safe guarding token. It’s about 5am and I am still restless my mind is getting very paranoid. I want to lay down to sleep but that is absolutely impossible. Trying to shut my eyes and settle down is now a terrifying experience. With my eyes closed it seems my thoughts are louder and more fragmented and extremely paranoid. I think about all the things I’ve done wrong and this sense of doom comes over me.

I call my boyfriend once more and he calms me down once more but he needs his sleep so I let him be for a few hours. His most helpful advice was to think of something pleasant and dwell on it until it puts me to sleep. I do this eventually... around 9am but before that happens I have the worst leg of my visuals colors and shapes take form but everything I look at ceases to make sense. My window looks like a cartoon duck with a tremendous smile, my mannequin in the corner with scarves on it looks like pyramid head. I try to shut my eyes but it seems like my delusions make me feel completely insane I think the best I can about my love and I eventually fall asleep. I wake up at 11am

The following day... Now all my hallucinations are gone. But I am in a whirlwind of dysphoria. I type up a novel of how I feel crying while writing most of it. I’m so paranoid and anxious I can’t sit still. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I try to shower but I never feel clean. I tear at my skin and I try to restrain myself. I brush my hair and tear a ton of it out. I feel a cold sweat no matter how comfortable I am. I’m thirsty and it seems like these awful feelings would never that these thoughts would be with me forever.

In summary it hurt to live. I’m pacing around my apartment and only find solace in expressing my ordeal to others. My roommates my friends and my boyfriend, this communication reminds me I’m not alone. I try to sleep as much as possible and it never happens perhaps a total of 45 minutes of sleep throughout the entire day a few minutes at a time... I’m awake until 1am that night. I go home with my boyfriend. He comforts me and the following day I feel normal again but I was terrified that I never would be. But I learned a lot from that night and I’ll carry that for the rest of my life.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 94876
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Sep 12, 2022	Views: 883
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