DOSE:

1 g

oral

Mushrooms - P. azurescens

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

225 lb

Following some reports that psilocybin could be a future treatment for depression, and given that I have a history of being resistant to medication, I decided to give it a try on Monday, March 12 2012.

At approximately 6:00 PM PST, I took 1g of dried p. azurescens mixed with a cup of apple sauce to counter the bitter taste. I consumed them quickly, only chewing enough to be able to swallow the small, woody stems and caps without difficulty.

I had my life partner standing by as a 'sitter' to help talk me down if the trip got out of hand.

Following the initial dosage, I began watching a playlist of videos about foxes on YouTube as I have a strong fondness for these animals and felt it would create a positive vibe. However, early on I began to feel that video was too distracting and switched to a playlist of music selected for the positive feelings and attachments I had to it.

I recorded the following impressions between 6:11 and 6:42:

6:11: May be experiencing slight effects. Colors do look brighter, there's a halo on this note pad file. The 'scope' visualization on Windows media player seems different somehow.
Playing: Kraftwerk Kometenmelodie 2

6:13: noticeable euphoria starting to settle in. Just a calm, gentle feeling. Halo on screen brighter now.
Playing: Kraftwerk Kometenmelodie 2

6:20: starting to notice the invidual phosphors on the computer screen. Seeing more pixelation in the on-screen images. Feel like it's reminding me that what I'm looking at is only an illusion but I'm cool with that. Illusions are part of life too. The spaces between the paragraphs seem significant, maybe lighter in color than the blank spaces in the paragraphs themselves. Colors running together and all that, I'm sure it's an optical illusion.
Playing: Kraftwerk- Neon Lights

6:23: the steady beats of Kraftwerk don't sound so steady any more. Noticeable time distortion, makes everything sound like Florian Schneider lost his sense of rhythm.
Playing: Kraftwerk- Neon Lights

6:28:(my roommate) came a couple minutes ago asking what year my car was. What the [expletive] does he want to know? [sic] And he won't tell me why he was asking. Josse doesn't ask about [expletive] “just because.” He's the most casually criminal person I know and now I'm all paranoid because he just asked me that out of the blue.
Playing: Kraftwerk- Autobahn

6:33: chilling back out now. Effects getting stronger. Limbs feeling heavy. Kind of relaxing. Hope there's no more stupid [expletive].
Playing: Kraftwerk- Autobahn

6:39: this is similar to the full-body high I got from the cannabis cookie months ago. This time I'm prepared for it. I can see why they say not everyone is ready for this though.
Playing: Kraftwerk- Autobahn

6:42: Tired of recording [my experience]. This has to be experienced without being cross-examined. I'll save my examination for afterward, this is just getting good.
Playing: Kraftwerk- Autobahn

From there, I called my partner over and had him hold me, and we got affectionate almost immediately. I switched my playlist to a group of songs from the 1960s which I selected both for feeling 'right' with the psychedelic experience and because they carried positive memories of listening to the 'oldies' station in my parent's car as a child.

The first intense visuals were closed-eye visuals during Donovan's song 'Hurdy-Gurdy man.' The impressions were of many-eyed versions of the 'green man' with strong positive feelings behind them.

While listening to 'Black and White' by Three Dog Night, I had an intensely vivid memory of hearing the same song while riding in the passenger seat of my father's old Datsun wagon, circa 1990. I could see the small pits in the windshield, the cracked vinyl, and the mismatched interior panels as if I were really there. The experience left me with a refreshingly positive feeling.

Listening to the song 'Across the Universe' by the Beatles, I had the strangest feeling that the sound of that song was closer to the true sound of 'Om' than 'Om' itself.

Between songs, the visuals were less organized, primarily closed-eye type, and resembled a roiling rainbow pudding or lava.

After about 4 hours of listening to music, the visuals began to subside and by midnight, they were completely gone. I was left with only an intense feeling of euphoria and wellbeing. As the euphoria subsided the feeling of wellbeing remained and has not gone away.

About 56 hours later, the complete cessation of all depressive and anxious symptoms has continued unabated. The positive effects have exceeded my expectations and were well worth the inherent risks.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95271
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Jun 29, 2018	Views: 1,552
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Mushrooms - P. azurescens (844) : General (1), First Times (2), Music Discussion (22), Guides / Sitters (39), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)