DOSE:	2 hits	sublingual	LSD	(blotter / tab)
	1 hit	smoked	DMT	(powder / crystals)
	1 tablet	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam	(pill / tablet)
	1 tablet	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam	(pill / tablet)
		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I didn't expect my mind to come back with me. Instead, it was sent back upside down with my senses rewired. I also never could have predicted that one of the most beautiful experiences of my life could also turn out to be the most frightening and embarrassing.

For years, I had developed a curiosity towards hallucinogens yet my knowledge was limited. A common question I'm now approached with was whether or not I regret combining DMT and LSD together for my first psychedelic experience. Upon my journey back to our reality, I didn't know the answer to that question and I still remain somewhat unsure. 5 years of marijuana smoke and a year of heavy prescription drug abuse did not mentally prepare me for the unique chemical that I was interested in. The intensity of the experience causes me to wonder if mental preparation for a full DMT breakthrough is even psychologically achievable. Settings and sitters ceased to exist - as did everything from our reality itself.

I had hoped it would find its way to me, although I had expected my first ride would be LSD without the dream chemical. Somehow, the powerful yellow powder arrived for experimenting. Before I had a complete breakthrough, I attempted to smoke the evaporating product on 2 separate days with very little success. During my first attempt, a little DMT smoke reached my lungs from a tiny pipe. Instantly, I felt high as a kite and the patterns on the nearby curtains looked as if they were almost dancing. There was an incredible feeling in my spine very similar to narcotic injection and I quickly shouted 'WHAT THE FUCK' out loud. Everyone made sure I was handling everything alright and then the night eventually ended.

A few days later, my 2nd attempt proved much more interesting. In a new setting, I successfully experienced 3 mild DMT highs that were all on the edge of the so-called hyperspace. Each smoke was spaced out about an hour a piece and I was loving it each time. After my first hit, I instantly told my sitters that it (psychologically) felt like something was trying to talk to me but I couldn't understand what it was saying. In addition to the typical intense high and spine rush, numerous things started to alter and I'm not sure in what order. All 3 times, I told everyone that the entire world was coated with an orange (almost gold) layer right after the hit. Similar to the curtains, it seemed like patterns and objects were on the verge of dancing. There were mild light visuals and a few things in my vision were slightly shaking. I also mentioned that I felt like I was given 6 extra senses, all of them dedicated specifically to focusing on vibrations. Certain moments during the trips, my body felt so good from my numbness that I couldn't prevent myself from creating positive feelings and emotions in my body - I wanted time processing what I was already experiencing and couldn't keep up. I spoke out saying that it was the most beautiful, intense, wonderful feeling in the world. I described that it felt like having sex with every female in the world at once while having your spinal cord directly injected with every pain killer in the world. All I could do during the strong moments were roll around on my back from side to side, holding my head, breathing heavily, and giggling uncontrollably for several minutes with a highly increased heart rate. I could tell my behavior was ridiculous. All claims about the harsh taste proved to be truthful. DMT itself smells bizarre, you'd recognize the burning scent if you knew it, the plastic taste description is accurate, and I remember my tongue feeling like a piece of metal or as if it were heavily wrapped by an adhesive.

Within the first minute of every DMT hit I've ever taken, my mind always tries to psychologically visualize an object that I have yet to ever try to explain in the summaries I've made of my experience. I found it to be rather curious because I couldn't decide if I was actually seeing it, if my mind was forcing me to imagine it in my head, or even if it had any significance at all since it was so simple. The object was basically just a unique type of pillar that seemed to rise up in front of me, emerging from the ground. It was painted orange and several large square black leather patterns going around it every few inches (the top part was black). I had a feeling it was connected with the vibrations but I wasn't sure.

Shortly after these attempts, a friend contacted me claiming that he had found some LSD for me to try out. One day before Thanksgiving, we headed down to the house where my first DMT effort took place. 2 of the 3 sitters I had with me were taking acid and all of us were trying DMT. I took 2 blotters of the LSD and waited. I was very calm and expected my trip to be very peaceful. 45 minutes passed and I described to my sitters that I was starting to feel very anxious, although I wasn't a few moments prior to that. I told them that it felt like it was being forced upon me because I wasn't nervous at all - something else was in control of my senses. They told me that it was normal and that it was starting to take effect.

The sitter who wasn't on acid then decided to pack a bowl of DMT. Similar to the other times, none of them successfully broke through. The pipe eventually got passed to me and I hit it without hesitation. I took the advice I read online of not letting the flame directly touch the crystals. To my surprise, my hit started going very well. Even more surprising was the fact that I couldn't taste the smoke at all. My only guess is that the acid was toying with my senses. My conscious told me that this was my moment. It was time to be selfish and inhale as hard as I could because I was about to blast off. I took a bong sized hit and held it for a very long time.

As soon as I exhaled, I instantly didn't feel right. Like always, I had an unbelievably powerful rushing in my spine going to my brain, the world turned slightly orange, I felt higher than I've ever been in my entire life, the object was in my thoughts again, and I felt intense vibrations. Reality seemed to speed up at an uncomfortable pace. My senses overloaded, my vision felt multiplied, and I could have sworn it felt like I could see a full 360 degrees (which I later described as 'seeing the 3rd dimension from the 4th dimension'). I almost felt like I was hooked up to a machine or possibly becoming a machine. Right before I entered the hyperspace, it randomly felt like I lived an entire lifetime in a split second.

After about a minute, the wall behind my sitters slowly and silently started melting away. Behind it was simply an opening to outer space. I could see blackness, stars, and planets. As soon as the wall was fully gone, a shapeless multicolored entity of light shot out, went in between my sitters, touched the top of my head, lifted me up, and blasted me forward into the wall at an insane speed. I told myself that this entity knew I had this drug in my body. From now until the end of the DMT trip, it felt like I was dying millions of times per second. It was like I could feel every single particle of my body vanishing one by one, being pulled forward into another place.

Eventually I entered a void. I don't know how I knew this but I could just feel that, in this place, time did not exist and neither did I. I became a conscious thought without the feeling of a body. It was a pure identity loss and felt exactly like a near death experience I went through when I was 10 years old (I was literally hours away from death and blacking out). I didn't know who I was. I was a simple thought, thinking to myself 'I'm just a thought. Floating here. Doing nothing. Just a thought. That's it. Nothing else.' There were a few short moments when I actually did have my identity and I was desperately trying to float back to my body but I couldn't reach it. I didn't know if I would ever get back to my body and it was terrifying. I also remember, for a brief moment, floating in the air and watching my sitters stare at my body. I could see their souls and they looked exactly like the entity that took me away - multicolored shapeless lights.

When my trip in the void ended, I entered another body in another reality. I don't know what it was, where it was, or what I was - but, apparently, I was shouting about aliens and alien worlds during my experience. I was standing on the balcony of a very tall building. Around me were more floating entities of light and even taller buildings with impossible complexity. In front of me was a very large monitor screen that had nothing but just a few small strange symbols on it. This world has extremely beautiful, futuristic, high tech, and probably extra dimensional. The entities paid no attention to me. They could tell that they were causing me overwhelming fear but they didn't care and they might have even been enjoying it.

The most interesting part of my trip was how I felt in this reality. My sitters told me that I described to them that I felt like I had 8 billion senses in my body and it was the single most uncomfortable thing I had ever felt. I had normal human senses that were multiplied and billions of other functions going on in my body that were impossible to describe. It was so powerful that I felt like I was being beaten down to the ground like a pancake. Words cannot begin to explain how uncomfortable it was. It wasn't physically or emotionally painful - it was like being experimented on in a hospital with dozens of wires going into your veins with each of them having their own unique drug or function. I wanted it to stop and I wanted to go back to my own world. The fear I felt had no mercy or limits. It was like human fear could be extracted as a chemical and injected into me. I never could have imagined that being in another reality could feel this much different than my own.

The trip started to wear off, I blasted back to my body, and I took the disturbing levels of fear with me. I panicked and started shouting to my sitters that 'they're real. I felt it. I was there. Aliens.' It was more terrifying than my near death experience. I was making a complete and utter fool of myself. My main sitter asked me 'do you realize how badly you're repeating yourself?', which I didn't. When he asked me, I felt embarrassed beyond belief. As soon as the embarrassment hit me, it made me realize that I was tripping my balls off and that I needed to calm down... but I couldn't. I tried describing everything to them but I was delusional from the trip, the acid was in full effect, and the parents of the house heard me. I wasn't making any sense at all. At one point, I asked someone to hold my hand then begged them to hug me several times. I was almost in tears from the fear. My sitter told me that my hand was ice cold when he held it. For 2 weeks after the trip, I actually thought I had exhaled and automatically went into panic mode... but I was wrong. My sitter told me that I was peacefully disconnected from my body for 5 minutes - I had no memory of this at all and it shocked me to learn it. He said that I tried to speak and describe what I was seeing but would trail off half way through a sentence and blank out.

One of the sitters got worried about how loud I was being and told us that we had to go somewhere else because of his family. The one sitter who wasn't on acid drove us to another guys house and we tripped in his basement. The power of the DMT trip made my acid trip insignificant and barely even worth talking about. It was similar to a marijuana high - just a lot more strong and a lot more wavey. I kept asking where I was, I kept apologizing, and I kept asking if anyone was mad at me. I was a complete and utter wreck. I was annoying, I was focusing all the attention on myself, and I kept talking about personal things that was making everyone uncomfortable.

I remember that I felt like I was dying every so often. I would be talking, blank out, and come back feeling like a completely different person. We listened to music, stared at scenery in a video game, smoked some weed, and watched some television. Someone put on Pink Floyd - I later described that it felt like the music was bouncing around the room and that I had to turn my head to follow it. My most interesting visuals was while we were watching South Park: the characters bodies were rapidly changing shape and color. I tried playing a puzzle game on Xbox but everything was warping too much and I was tripping too hard so I gave up.

I hated the acid trip and I couldn't wait for it to end. What made it worse was that it felt like the trip would end at times then come back in full blast. I tried to calm myself down and shut myself up but failed most of the time. I've never felt so guilty in my life - I know for a fact that I was ruining my sitters trips but I just couldn't control myself. One of them came over and tried to peacefully talk me into a calm mood but got frustrated and gave up. At one point, it felt like I had psychosis for about a minute or two. The only way to describe it was that my brain felt scrambled, in pain, and my thoughts and senses couldn't be controlled. I collapsed on the floor during this period and crawled around almost in tears. When it wore off, I felt extreme hatred for myself and had a breakdown. I apologized to my sitters for how I am in life, I apologized for being a burden with my health problems, and spoke of suicide. I handed over my knife to a sitter and told him to get it the fuck away from me because I would have killed myself if he hadn't. When I was speaking of suicide, another sitter said I was starting to make him think that way and I stopped myself, walked over to the bed, and curled up in a ball for about an hour to give everyone a break from me. I trembled, hid my face, and occasionally cried to myself. Despite how terrible I was acting, everyone was very polite and tried their hardest to help me through it.

After about 7-8 hours, the acid started to wear off and it was time to split. Someone gave me a klonopin hoping it would relax me. I begged my friend 'please don't leave me alone tonight' and he said I could spend the night at his house. During the drive home, the sky was rapidly changing colors as I tried to describe my DMT experience more thoroughly. Upon arriving home, I was offered to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I was warned that it was extremely difficult to sleep after taking acid. My mind was racing like crazy, I felt fascinated by everything I laid my eyes on, and I was having closed eye visuals of random color blobs. Someone at the house offered me a xanax which, to my surprise, knocked me out for a very long time.

For a few days after the trip, reality seemed very different to me. It was as if I was experiencing everything for the first time again - I had the mind state of a child. I felt scared by everything I had to do and I wasn't even sure why. The next time I saw my other 2 sitters, I made a very deep apology to them because I had never felt such guilt, embarrassment, and shame in my entire life. For months, I told myself that I never wanted to take psychedelics again. Yet, after a very positive experience with shrooms, I am curious about smoking more DMT. A majority of my life, I have been very dedicated to Atheism and Skepticism. DMT took all of my beliefs and instantly threw them out the window in a matter of seconds - it made me feel more alone than ever. As of now, I refuse to label my beliefs because I'm too confused. I don't know what I believe anymore but the chemical proved to me that alternate realities do exist and I was wrong for ever having made up my mind and being so stubborn about it.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 95442
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jul 23, 2013	Views: 5,133
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LSD (2), DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)