DOSE:

3 hits

smoked

Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends

(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

I consider myself a seasoned stoner, and quite the adventurous psychonaut. I've experienced many psychoactive and psychedelic substances, including and not limited to: Cannabis, DMT, LSD, K2, and Saliva. All of which, were wonderful and insightful experiences, except for one lone time I had a bad trip from some weed that made me overtly paranoid for about an hour or so.

The trip I suffered from smoking that much "Damiana D-ZL High Quality" (0.5g - 1.0g Fully Packed Bowl, 3 Bong Rips) was the absolute worst, most horrendous experience that you could possibly imagine. Actually, the level of pain and intensity is beyond human comprehension. Remember that scene in that movie, Event Horizon, where the Jurassic Park guy shows what hell is like? Yeah well, it's like that, but infinitely worse.

I took 3 strong, albeit very smooth, hits from my water bong in my dark room alone, and then it was only a matter of a few minutes before I could feel the effects kicking in. I tried to surf the internet, as per my usual activity while high, but suddenly, I felt a dramatic and precipitous shift coming on. I could tell immediately that the stuff was strong and I may have bitten off more than my head was ready to handle. I struggled to make sense of my surroundings. Objects ceased to have meaning or recognition. It was complete and utter boundary dissolution. What happened next is incredibly hard to describe, for there really are no words that can adequately define the parameters, if there were any, of the domain I entered.

Imagine if you will, perpetual drowning in a multidimensional lake of fire, kaleidoscopically cascading through a roller-coaster ride of pure, unabashed nauseating torment. Never in my entire life have I ever wanted to die. It felt like I was experiencing every pain that has happened, or will ever happen, to any and all lifeforms throughout the multiverse. It seems possible to imagine, right? I swear to you, I am in no way trying to embellish a bad trip.

The feeling of nausea was unbearable. It literally, and I do mean literally, felt like eternity. It's as if my ego was completely stripped away; I looked down at my hands, which were barely recognizable, and felt that my body was struggling to keep my soul inside and intact. Movement felt like slow motion, and the room around me flickered and spun around chaotically. Whatever was left of my ego was trying desperately to grasp onto something familiar, anything that I could focus on and stay grounded in the room. It was like gasping for air while a demon tries to drown you in a lake of fire. I kid you not.

I felt lost, and abandoned. It was the experience of sheer hopelessness. Never have I ever known the meaning of that word, 'hopelessness'. I'm there in my bed, writhing in contorted position after contorted position, trying to find a safe place in my head to rest and root itself, but to no avail. I rode wave after wave of unbearable torment, and I all I could think was that if hell exists, this state of consciousness is it. Words and language ceased to have meaning or make sense. My thoughts become so scrambled that it became impossible to even try to rationally calm myself down and relax. When I could feel my body again and jump back into reality, deep breathing helped slow the spinning and recalibrate my surroundings. But then my soul got dragged right back down to the pits of hell and I was whipped, prodded, poked, skewered, hooked, burned, and beaten, all simultaneously. There were no actual demons to speak of, or a devil-figure, or fire, or anything like that. It was more or less a blended hyperdimensional reality of my entire life's history. Every terrible thought I ever had, and even the ones I didn't know I had, rush up to greet me. All the while, I continually felt like I was going to throw up, and it felt like I was constantly jolted, as if I was frightened in a nightmare. I would wake up from the nightmare, but only to realize that I was still stuck in the nightmare again, and there was no hope of truly waking up to escape.

After 2 hours of real time, I began to calm down and things in the room became more solid and less fuzzy. I began to take sanctuary in the ability to recognize objects, and I began to relax a bit as I was assured a safe return to normalcy or baseline. I then began stringing together cohesive thoughts and expressions, and I began examining all of the private and unsettling things the trip exposed to me about my ego, sexuality, and cultural operating system.

I'll never take for granted the simple majesty, and wonderment of normal, everyday reality. It is a beautiful, loving, and peaceful state, simply because it is understandable. The ability to comprehend something, anything, is a luxury that was not afforded to me while tripping.

Exactly what hell would feel like, whether it really is a place that exists after death for some or not. Worst. trip. ever.

Needless to say, I smoked it again later that day, but a miniscule dose compared to what I tried earlier. I was able to keep my ego intact this time, and it was actually quite enlightening and euphoric. Parts of it resembled the first trip, for language if inspected closely, quickly deteriorated or took on new meaning that my conscious mind wasn't privy to before. My sexual appetite definitely increased. My ego took on a more primal form, a true naked ape in the same sense Terence McKenna would say, and sexual urges were amplified. It was like discovering sex again for the first time. So, small hits are okay. But, I certainly wouldn't do anything more than that unless I want to suffer again.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 96369
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jan 11, 2018	Views: 8,181
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