DOSE: T+ 0:00	97 mg	insufflated	DPT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:43	59 mg	insufflated	DPT	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

(This is a sequal to the Mind Inside-Out experience posted on Erowid).

I am back for a repeat DPT experience. I have been thinking a lot about my virgin experience and how much I would like to repeat it. Or maybe make it slightly different. Always seeking novelty. I am already thinking about drug combinations that might be good with DPT. Or other tryptamines I might want to try. But not tonight. I need to repeat the pleasant experience I had last time to gain confidence in this area.

I plan to do roughly the same dosage as last time, but all in one shot. Also, I will err on the side of too much, to make sure I don’t get cheated out of an intense experience. I took 3/8 of my stash last time (about 93.75 mg), which leaves me with about 156.25 mg. Dividing piles in half is the easiest to do by eye, so I am compelled to do a fraction of my stash that has a denominator that’s a power of 2. If I do 5/8 of what’s left, that’ll be about 97.65 mg. Sounds good.

I am not in a crazy great mood, but I think it’s OK. My shoulder has hurt all week, presumably from tearing apart the barn. I’ve been a little upset about being so busy, but not really depressed or anything. I am looking forward to a little R&R tonight. Or at least a vacation from real life.

T-0 is 8:59 pm. I do the 97 mg in two lines, one up each nostril.

I have Deep Forest on the speakers; I will put AcidWarp on the screen. I will meditate to the music until something happens.

I want to try to stay aware at the transition into the peak. I have some blank periods near the beginning of the last trip. I was feeling almost nothing. Then I went to sit down. I looked at Raggedy Ann & Andy as their eyes and mouths started flickering and shifting and changing shapes and colors. Then the next thing I knew I was coming out of the peak. I don’t remember coming into the peak.

I am going to go now.

See you later. I love you.

9:10. Onset was fast. Drip. Auditory echoing. Mind shifting, changing shape. It’s weird to meditate while this diffusion is happening, because I can experience it in minute detail.

I am shivering now. I feel cold. I will put on my sweatshirt. I guess I am feeling the tremor. It is more subtle than I expected. I think it is an actual muscle twitch, not just a feeling. Like a shiver. I get it in my hands, arms, and legs. It’s not unpleasant. It feels kind of good, actually. Not like feeling cold, really. More like having a fever. One of those fevers where you feel cold. I guess I like the feeling of having a fever. It feels kind of good. Kind of like this.

9:15. Subtle visual distortions are starting as tremor gets more pronounced.

This fever feeling is turning into the gut pleasure I enjoyed so much last time.

Got to go enjoy this. Bye.

9:20. I am still in full control of my wits. I just went upstairs to fetch a thermometer because I was really curious about what my actual temperature is. All the items on the screen are starting to wiggle and my tremor is pretty bad, like the worst fever I’ve ever had.

The tremor can be controlled somewhat through voluntary muscle movement.

Oral Temperature: 98.2 degrees F. The body’s a weird thing. I feel freezing.

9:28. Almost all physical so far. The similarities to a fever are frightening. It’s really just the same. I am thinking as I try to find a comfortable position for my muscles to be in, “this feels just like having a fever”. I will have to remember, the next time I have a fever, to think “hey, this feels just like being on DPT”.

Hey, it’s been 30 minutes and I am still on planet earth. At what point will I consider boosting my dose? For last time, I don’t know what part of the onset curve was from boosting, and what from waiting.

I couldn’t have built up tolerance this quickly, could I? I could also have misjudged my dose. There was probably some waste each time that could mean I got less than I thought. Don’t rationalize. If you want to do the rest, just do it.

Wait. It may be happening without a boost. Then again, I felt almost sober for a second there. But doing the rest of it could be pretty wild. Not enough is happening. I am going to do more. I don’t need to do “the rest”. Just a line.

9:42. I did the rest.

Almost right away, things seem to be taking on a more luminous, echoing quality and my tremors have increased. This document is becoming more abstract and irrelevant.

The thermometer got to 100.0 degrees and then stopped working. I don’t know if time has stopped or I forgot how to hold it.

Typing is becoming increasingly futile. My sensations of my body are becoming distorted, like I am some huge, fat person. I remember this from last time, although it went unexpressed in the report.

9:52. Starting to dissolve into the DPT world.

9:56. Music distracting. Turned it off. Very luminous, big fever tremors. Just moving muscles, sitting there dissolving is enough. Will try to stretch muscles, see how that feels.

10:29. I’ve remained much more in control this time.

It’s hard to find a comfortable position. My muscles don’t know whether they want to stretch or curl up. Most of the thoughts were about moving my body around. We really spend most of our time rearranging our meat so that it can be in a certain place so we can have a mental experience.

But really, it’s about where everyone’s meat is. And it’s everywhere.

Extremes of emotion are also here. Hard they’re not already here. They come in a tightening spiral. I can control. But now the metaphor machine’s coming in fast.

Truer than all truths [is one spiral]. Why must it be so much?

I feel like trying to stay aware is bringing me down. I guess alternatively, I just let go and it would be kind of like going to sleep almost.

I haven’t let go of awareness once yet. I wonder what would happen if I did. How would I get it back?

I feel a little strange right now. Besides the shivering meat that the metaphor machine is trying to rearrange, there’s the matter of the cloutest of the cloutest hearts. It’s about riding that spiral all the way down.

My body is sagging. It’s my efforts at self-representation that keep me alive. Or awake. I feel like I might be able to go to sleep. It seems independent of the trip. It’s not really a speedy feeling, just the fever twitch.

I let myself go a little and I turned into a sexy kitty animal powerful thing. [Love interest] was there playing with me as a thing.

Sometimes if I let myself go, all I get is lots of metaphors about how everybody’s cream cheese (their meat) needs to be moved around. It needs to go somewhere while we have these mental experiences. It’s such an incredible bother to always have these hunks of meat tied to us wherever we go.

My mind is still worried about where to put my meat, but what would it be doing anyway if it had its own mind to make up about what to do?

I am definitely not tripping as much as last time. Holding attention has been part of it. However, there just isn’t as much of that organic dissolving that I had last time.

I feel that there is nothing besides my consciousness and unconsciousness. That sounds trivial, but I always thought that tripping was very different somehow. Maybe it is, but it doesn’t seem that special right now.

Maybe this drug isn’t worth repeating after all.

Maybe I can have some fun with it if I lie down in bed and let it run.

Moving around feels pretty good. If I lied down and went to sleep, it would be giving in to shivering and whatever my mind wants to do. I might try to stay conscious and fall asleep.

I want to sleep in my bed. It may be more difficult to keep a record of my thoughts up there. 11:12.

The rolling last time was letting the metaphor machine run, but I won’t let it run now because it’s really boring!

Consciousness is more interesting than constant complaining about somebody else’s meat overlapping with yours.

Moving and stretching feels good.

I think I should try to sleep.

1:00. I am having a little trouble sleeping. Partly it is trying to experience it consciously. Also, I am hot and there are mice chewing in the walls. I am hungry, too. I got up, turned the fan on, and came downstairs. I am making decaf Green Tea, and eating almonds. They are really satisfying. Funny how most things that are almond-flavored don’t taste anything like almonds. They taste like sugar mostly.

My tea is ready.

I took some melatonin and set an alarm. I am not sleepy. Maybe I will put the relaxation tape on.

1:20. I am enjoying the experience of sitting in my blue space-out chair in my bedroom and resting my hot tea on my genitals between sips. This is a nice experience to have, and I am grateful to my body and the universe for providing it.

The first time, I was totally passive and let the unconscious metaphor machine dominate my brain. Quickly, I forgot what the metaphors were about, and I just enjoyed letting them ring out their reverberating thought patterns. Mostly they were about the meat, and I couldn’t even remember that for my last trip report.

This time, I made an extreme effort to be totally conscious of everything. This diminished the experience compared to last time, particularly since much of it was unconscious last time. However, it has deepened my practice immensely. The exercise in mindfulness was very rich and satisfying.

I think I’m totally done with DPT. Once it was closely examined, it was not as pleasurable as I thought, and it was kind of boring. Just repetitive metaphors. I am looking for something more psychological, more spatial.

9:25 am. I had lots of trouble getting to sleep, and I think it must have been almost 3:00 before I achieved it. Nonetheless, I got up at 8:30 with my alarm, and I don’t feel bad. I feel kind of peaceful, as the sense of depth of my consciousness has carried over from last night.

Need to think more about this experience and what it means. Will talk it over with [friend] in the car.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 9656
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 26, 2001	Views: 14,963
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DPT (21) : Retrospective / Summary (11), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)