DOSE:

250 - 500 mg

oral

Armodafinil

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

I was diagnosed with depression many years ago and have been on and off various SSRIs. All of these have worked, fleetingly, and I wondered if I couldn't chock it up to a placebo effect. This year I've been using Viibryd with Latuda, the drugs have worked significantly for my mood but done nothing for my latent fatigue, a fatigue which has been a constant drain not only on my work, but my own self worth.

After explaining this feeling in detail to my psychiatrist he decided to try me on Nuvigil. Two days ago I tried a 250 mg pill and felt no big effect, increased focus for a small amount of time, nothing incredible. Knowing that it compounded over time, but also being adventurous, I popped two pills last Sunday at noon as a fleeting experiment.

The effects were noticeable within minutes. It was not only an incredible focus, but a feeling of incredible drive. Sadly, on a Sunday afternoon I didn't have much to put that drive into. The effects kept compounding however, and soon that drive turned into anxiety. My mind wanted to do some work, was aching to do something, and I had only reddit and 4chan to focus on. This was not the content my brain wanted.

I quickly found myself on wikipedia, I never knew much about the Second Sino-Japanese war after all. I spent the next 8 hours solidly studying, but not out of obligation, out of my own interest and curiosity and an attempt to sate my anxiety.

It was while I started absorbing this information that I took a third pill. This was a serious mistake, because while my focus increased, so did my desire to shift focuses. It was during this very severe shifting of focus that I started to notice my heart and the weight of my chest, the feeling of heart palpitations coming on. Thankfully I was familiar with the sensation, but it remained very unpleasant.

I still surfed wikipedia with these heart palpitations and they slowly subsided. My desire to surf long outlasted the palpitations and I continued to drink from the vast collection of compiled information. I will not pretend that I retained all the information, but it was not just the learning that changed, it was the method of thinking about it. It was as if my formation of new ideas and how I could fit them together was under direct control. I was making logical and coherent arguments on complex topics with ease, drawing from all sorts of information I learned or was learning.

The deep periods of thought I had on political science and human history cemented new ideas and resolved old ideological conflicts I had. I often think about these topics, but with wikipedia and nuvigil I changed or cemented many stances. While these problems were all theoretical in nature, my ability to handle hypotheticals and abstracts was greatly increased. I felt I had digested not only new ideas but that I was familiar with the way normally subconscious areas of my mind were developing abstract ways to connect and visualize their underpinnings. I felt I was aware of my method of thinking. Metathought, almost.

I retained a lot of the information I read, and later had a lively conversation with a friend. A good 3 hours after the high had significantly dropped off I was retaining a significant portion of the knowledge and arguing for the ideas I had cemented earlier, and the logical underpinnings seemed as sound as they did in the midst of my abstract metathinking.

In a way, the drug reminded me of weed in that my ability to abstractly think was amazingly enhanced and yet I also suffered no short term memory loss or mental fogginess that I feel weed also induced in me.

Sadly, the heart palpitations greatly dissuade me from going on such a journey in the near future. Plus I'm also interested in seeing what my normal dose will do over time (I'm instructed to only take 125 mg a day). It was also a purely mental journey, and as such I completely neglected my body, most importantly food. I only had one meal, and that was a dinner I had to force myself to make. Making food was too damn boring for my high powered focus.

Also, after that intense dose, I've been up all night. I still feel the effects of nuvigil completely, the drive and focus are still there and very noticeable. However, the intense familiarity with my abstract thought processes are gone.

One last thing, nuvigil greatly increased how much I ramble. I'm sure you've already noticed.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 96613
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Oct 29, 2020	Views: 2,160
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Armodafinil (507) : Combinations (3), Medical Use (47), Depression (15), First Times (2), Alone (16)