DOSE:

0.125 oz

oral

Mushrooms

(fresh)

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

I had just stepped out of my car at a musical event I was attending when another car pulled up. The driver inquired if I would like some mushrooms. This opportunity rarely presented itself to me, so although I did not plan on an experience that night, I opted to buy some and save them for a later date.

A couple of days later, I had an entire evening free for consuming this magical fungus. Foolishly, I munched down the entire quantity before I even realized it. 'Oh, well,' I said to myself, 'Perhaps I'll being travelling deeper than I expected.' My stomach was empty from a day of very light eating, so the effects began to manifest themselves more rapidly than I expected.

At first, the most noticeable effect was a sort of fluid and unburdened flow of thoughts. I found this to be quite pleasant, as I laid down on my couch and observed various objects in the room undulate and warp. 'How amusing,' I thought. But this was only about 20 minutes after ingestion, so I knew that my reality was preparing to change considerably. I closed my eyes and watched complex three dimensional shapes floating past, as if they were floating down a river as I looked across to the other shore. My curiosity piqued, I thought I would see where these strange shapes were going. When I turned to see, I realized that all I could see was a very bright light emanating from some central source. This frightened me enough to send me into a panic. And this is when I was briefly shown what hell is.

Instantly, I bolted to the bathroom to purge whatever undigested mushroom there was left in my vaporizing stomach. I was somehow floating above my body, viewing the torturous spectacle of myself hunched over the toilet. A very strange sort of music pervaded my hearing. It was definitely something that the psilocybin was tuning me into. The music was very bizarre and lacked both key and a steady beat; it somehow sped up and slowed down with each tone being replaced by another as it sounded and faded out.

By this point, I realized that my digestive tract was doing what it does best--digesting. There was no way that I was going to reverse the process. Also, I knew I didn't want to be in this new place any longer, but I was constantly being shoved deeper into it. The effect of this struggle perplexed me. One moment my mind would be capable of thinking one thought at a time, and the next, I would be hurled into an infinite sequence of events. This, as I understood it, was the infinite cause and effect perpetuated by time, itself. The inevitability of my own cessation as a part of these events occurred to me, and the paranoia of imminent death was the foremost concept in my consciousness. I realized that I am merely a link in a chain; that I am unimportant in every other respect, and this frightened me. The awareness of my inability to halt the successive flow of time had such an impact on me that I thought that this must be hell. Suddenly, I realized the utter horror of mental insanity and I wished for my mind to return to the stability that I knew I was so privileged to possess.

After what seemed like an eternity (actually about 45 minutes), I began to descend from the almost unbearable insanity. I considered the nature of thoughts and consciousness and I seemed to understand. I was shown that consciousness is merely a medium, closely related to the flow of time, in which thoughts and emotions occur. I liken it to air being the medium through which sounds occur. For the next few hours I continued to return to my normal state of mind, yet I was profoundly affected and shaken by this experience.

It was hell for a while, but I'm glad that I had this experience. I now have much more to work with to fix my personal problems. Also, I have a better understanding and increased sense of compassion for fellow human beings. As I once heard a well-known musician say, '…we are all of one consciousness, merely experiencing itself subjectively…' Indeed…

Suggestions: Always have someone to look after you while you visit the land. Proceed with caution when dealing with a substance of unknown potency, as doing so can overt possible disaster. Be safe and have fun.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 9723
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 8, 2005	Views: 5,449
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Mushrooms (39) : Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Alone (16)