DOSE:

3 hits

smoked

Mimosa tenuiflora

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

After a powerful, joyful and very intriguing experience with ayahuasca this past summer, I found myself presented with a couple of further opportunities to learn from this medicine. Conflicted about which of two seemingly contradictory options to pursue, I threw the yarrow stalks of the I Ching. The response was an enthusiastic message of increase and expansion, the image one of filling a vessel with water. I understood this as an affirmation of my impulse to go deeper with ayahuasca and decided to pursue both options if possible. A few hours later, another, very unexpected opportunity presented itself: a friend (“M”) offered me some extracted Mimosa hostilis in a smokeable form. Apparently some friends of his had prepared the extract and put it onto some kind of plant matter. I was hesitant to jump in like on the spur of the moment, but after hearing him speak glowingly of his experiences with it and remembering the I Ching’s encouragement, I decided to go for it.

I had an hour and half until I was supposed to be at the airport to pick up a friend, but M assured me that I’d be back to earth within 5-8 minutes and that “once I was back, I’d be back.” So it was that within an hour of hearing his offer I was seated cross-legged on a cushion in his room, loaded bowl of dmt-laden mimosa extract in hand.

M suggested three or four big hits. By the second one I could feel my face starting to go numb, something huge closing in , but I persevered and took a third before passing him the nearly cashed bowl. Immediately it hit me hard, and my first thought on my way up was “nothing’s supposed to feel this good.” Huge rush of electrical energy through me, as if my body were a conduit that had never really been put to use before this. High frequency vibrating, though what kind of waves is a good question. It was an impossible rush, absurdly pleasurable even if overwhelming, a thousand orgasms at once. Some part of me wondered at what I had done--was this OK? I had expected a mind-blowing experience, this pure rush of pleasure? It was almost more what I would expect from heroin or crack (never having tried either of these). Except that, while it was very tactile and visceral, it was much more than that.

I can’t remember, let alone articulate, much about the experience beyond the pleasurable part which was so enormous. If pressed, I would say that it felt like the massive energy running through me was patterning me, causing me to resonate with it, and my body began to trace in space some of the crude outlines of the waveform: head and neck bobbing back and forth like a the front end of a fish in water. Indeed, I felt like a fish swimming in the fabric of the universe, not swimming actively, just responding to the rushing current. I was a soaring phoenix in space. And a golden statue bathed in light. My heart seemed to be racing, though it was difficult to be sure (I'm pretty certain in retrospect that it was well above 100 bpm); I was definitely flushed with heat, which felt great. There were some mildly geometric pattern impressions, though more like what I see with my eyes closed than full-fledged visual hallucinations. (I had my eyes closed almost the whole time, as I found that the intensity of the experience was drastically reduced when I opened them). There was a spiraling ribbon, a vortex of sorts, coming down from above and spiraling me clockwise, down towards an opening like at the bottom of a funnel. I idly wondered ‘what if my physical body doesn’t fit’ and realized I must be starting to come down. I felt loose, limber, warm and open-hearted, very much post-coital, except much more so than after any human sexual encounter. This had been a jolt of cosmic love.

There were other feelings, thoughts, perhaps even revelations, but I can’t remember them. Overall the experience--or trying to wrap my mind around the experience, which on some level is not the point--was like trying to drink out of a fire hose: too much too fast. For this reason I found it difficult to integrate; it was extremely beautiful but so sudden and intense that it leaves almost no opportunity to process. After ayahuasca, smoking the stuff felt a bit like cheating! It gives one a full appreciation for the strength of the medicine but without direction or containment. It’s the American version, instant gratification, but like other forms of instant gratification it leaves one wanting more. I can’t imagine ever becoming addicted to Ayahuasca (it’s probably physiologically impossible!) but I found myself immediately wanting more of this smoke. M mentioned that most people did it twice on a row, so I brushed aside my hesitation and dove back in for a second round. Some of the images I described above may be from that second ride; I wasn’t even fully down from the first one so it’s difficult to distinguish between the two.

The trip may have lasted only fifteen minutes or so but by the time I was feeling ready to drive nearly two hours had elapsed. My friend at the airport had to call a cab, but I made it worth his while by bringing him a bit of the extract. I was amazed to hear his reports of experiencing the fundamental building blocks of matter, followed by a trip to a nebula and visit to a planet with dinosaurs on it. He sat in a ball of lightning, split into four people and witnessed the birth of the universe. M, meanwhile, had apparently stepped outside of time and been let in on “the cosmic joke” during his trip.

I continue to be amazed that the same substance can trigger such vastly differing experiences , which however seem to be relatively consistent within each person’s experience. This last point was driven home when I took one more hit later in the night, back at my place, where I was united with my roommate, who’d beat me back from the airport. While he was visiting the brontosauri I slipped back into a blissful realm of golden light and warmth, which felt so good I found myself feeling almost guilty about it. After coming down I found myself ravenous, hungrier than I’d been all week. I was feeling fine, if a bit spacey. Now, the next day, I have no ill effects, but little in the way of anything positive to hold onto except the sense that I channeled a fundamental energy of the universe, and that this energy is not different than what we know as sexual energy.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to experience mimosa in this form, but in the future I will probably stick to traditional preparations, in ceremonial settings if possible. I would add that the incredible power of this drug or medicine (ayahuasca felt like medicine, but smoking the mimosa extract felt like a drug) is a potentially dangerous one. If you fly that high you can crash; if you run that much energy through a circuit you can short it out or fry it. Not something to be done frequently.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 97724
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Feb 18, 2020	Views: 2,885
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