BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

Near-Death Experience / Out of Body Experience

So there I was in a kayak in Broad River. It was my first time kayaking, and I was nervous as fuck about the whole ordeal. I was only twelve years old, camping out with friends in the middle of Bumfuck, South Carolina. I didn't want to go, I hated a good bit of the people I was with. But it certainly beat staying at home with my poor excuse for a family. But enough about me, let's get to my experience.

I had just entered the river on my kayak, and I was starting to get the hang of it already. The water was very calm, and it would have been a peaceful scene if not for the drunken rednecks behind me. But it was still a nice feeling, I mean I've always loved the water. So I'm drifting down the river, actually a good bit down the river now. I can't see the dock from where I'm at anymore. I'm paddling along, like the instructor told me too, and the waters seem so serene. And then just like that, the bottom drops out from under me.

I couldn't mentally grasp what had just happened until my boat had flipped over and I was raking my head against the rocks below. Yeah, not a good feeling. I mean, I'm a big guy, and I was very large for a twelve year old, but the water was so deep that I was still completely under. My kayak was on top of me, and I was having enough trouble trying to keep my head from hitting the rocks over and over. Apparently it's really fucking hard to hold your breath while you're upside down, underwater, with that much weight on top of you. I had my hands above my head, pushing myself up, because I was so worried about hitting my head on the rocks. The current had been dragging me for at least two minutes (or that's what it felt like anyway) and I wasn't able to get the kayak from on top of me. Instinctively, I opened my mouth and tried to scream out for someone to get the goddamn weight off me. DUMB. ASS. MOVE. Instead of things coming out, things went in, and into my lungs. I had already had lung damage from birth, and that coupled with how overweight I was, I guess my body tried to take in air even when I didn't want it to. Needless to say, I only took in water.

I immediately regretted my (body's) decision. I can't really describe how it felt. It wasn't comfortable, that's for damn sure. It felt awful. But then the awful started to ease, and I started to become less concerned with getting the kayak off of me. And this euphoria started to set in. I wasn't scared of drowning or anything, I just felt really good and at ease and wanted to enjoy the feeling. I hadn't started experimenting with drugs yet, but I figured (at the time) that that's what it felt like to be high. It was like I was in a different world. And I don't want to be so cliche, but I'm telling the honest truth, my life kind of flashed before my eyes. All the memories I had, and some I didn't have, just played back in my mind. And it was like I was looking at myself from a different point of view. I saw myself upside down, drowning, but happy as fuck. It was like I could see my own life, if that makes sense, from a different point of view. A spiritual point of view. It was as if I was dreaming. And then I woke up.

I saw light, and the nature around the river, and then I saw my friend Mike, who was much older than me, lifting me by shirt. 'You okay, buddy?' he said. I wanted to say 'Do I look like I'm fucking okay?' but then I realized I still couldn't breathe. I eventually coughed out all the water and was able to talk. Out of breath, but I caught it quickly, and told him thank you. We pulled over on a sandy place on the side of the river so I could get my shit together. He said I was only under for a few minutes but I swear to God it felt like an eternity. We couldn't go back and I had to kayak the rest of the river, which was scary as hell.

I'm thankful for Mike saving my life, but I can't say I don't wish I was back at this place. To experience that same euphoria, and then just cease living, it doesn't really sound too bad. But now I won't swim in a lake or river, and I'm certainly never going kayaking again. But I'm glad I had the experience because it's opened me up to a lot of things about my own spirituality, sexuality, and really made me contemplate my entire existence. It's helped me to become a better person.

I was very confused after it happened, but I learned afterwards that I just experienced a near death experience. I've pretty much come to terms with it now, but I was very fucked up for a month or two afterwards.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 99028
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 12
Published: Oct 1, 2019	Views: 837
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Endogenous (86) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Nature / Outdoors (23), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7)