DOSE: T+ 0:00	60 mg	oral	Duloxetine
T+ 0:00	1/2 tablet	oral	Pharms - Propranolol
T+ 1:00	3 ml	sublingual	Salvia divinorum	(tincture)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

12:30am
Dose: 4 dropper-loads (3ml) of Sage Goddess Emerald Essence, mixed equally with water
Medication: 60mg Cymbalta daily. 20mg Propanolol (Inderal) 1 hour before experience

To begin with, I have not had a drink or used any psychedelic drugs in almost 2 years (I went to rehab for alcohol addiction in November 2010). These days I have been contemplating drinking again. I have never struggled to manage any substances other than alcohol, and figured that using Salvia to explore my conscience could help me gain some insight. So I planned a Salvia Session with my good wife, who prefers marijuana, but offered to smoke some Salvia herself (the tincture never worked for her).

I set up our small office/guest room with candlelight and some Stars’ End trance music playing on a CD through the computer. I always get really nervous before taking Salvia. It’s the first minute or so while it kicks in that scares me. I feel like something really, really bad is about to happen. Like I am going to be taken somewhere forcefully and never come back. But after that I always really enjoy it and get a lot out of it. So to calm my nerves I took one half of a beta blocker (propanolol) which had been prescribed to me for performance anxiety. Turns out it works just as well for “psychedelic anxiety”. An hour after taking it, even though I was still nervous, I was not shaking or sweating and my heart was beating at a normal rate. That stuff works!

I sat in a meditative pose on a pillow on the bed with my wife lying down next to me. I mixed the 4 drops of green tincture with 4 drops of water, then poured it under my tongue and waited. The mixture stings slightly at first. I rolled it around in my mouth so it could absorb on as many surfaces as possible. After about 10 minutes I could feel the familiar feeling (I have taken Salvia probably 10 times before) of the Salvia spreading out from my mouth into my brain and body. It feels warm and twisty. The terror struck momentarily while the music was in a crescendo. I felt, suddenly, that because the music kept going UP, that I was going to keep going UP, and I might get WAY TOO HIGH. I spit the tincture back into the tiny white mixing bowl, and grabbed my wife’s hand for comfort. I asked, “Does the music going up like that, does it mean I am going to get too high?” She shook her head gently. And then I was fine.

I closed my eyes. The indescribable swirling feeling of Salvia was taking over. It’s kind of like a roller coaster, but instead of riding in it, everything around me is riding the roller coaster instead. The music seemed like it was funneled physically through the air, engulfing my head, and then continuing past me. I felt as though just about everyone has experienced this before. Kind of a clearheaded dizzy feeling. I tried to come up with some words to describe the sensation. It was difficult. I probably wasted quite a bit of energy on trying to capture it in words instead of just experiencing it. But it still felt to me like a commonplace thing. I thought to myself, “Oh, yeah, of course, EVERYONE gets this twisty, metallic, whirling, pulsing feeling.” Then I started laughing really hard and reached for a notebook to write that down. My wife discouraged me from getting up, and I was a little unsteady on my feet, but I didn’t have a problem walking or writing.

With my eyes open I didn’t see anything really unusual. Except my field of vision seemed to “chop” from frame to frame. A lot of drugs do that to me. I remember noticing that the very first time I got drunk. If I looked from one side of the room to the other, instead of snapping quickly into place, my field of vision would delay and swing dramatically before settling back down.

I felt at times transported back to when I was 20 years old (I am 40) and just getting started with drinking and doing drugs. The excitement and the anticipation and the newnesss, of being in a room where you are doing these secret little things that change the world for you. A small room with candles burning, people who get it, cosmic possibilities. It was a pleasant, nostalgic feeling. After about 45 minutes I was starting to come down. Then it was my wife’s turn. I packed an old tobacco pipe with a bunch of Salvia (standard strength extract from Sage Wisdom - I think it is about 6X) and handed it to her, she took a hit, and passed it back. A few seconds later she reached backward, saying she wanted more, then started giggling and quickly changed her mind. She fell sideways, laughing, and saying “no” and “Isn’t there... someone....” and other fragmented things. Later she said that she felt like her sister was there and that she was going to get in trouble. I think she meant her one sister who died about 20 years ago - so, we both felt transported back to a similar time period. I would like her to have a breakthrough with Salvia, too - so far, it’s just been a silly experience for her.

I always get a lift the next day from Salvia and this time was no exception. It works as an antidepressant. Next time I want to use a little more, 6 drops probably. I’ll be scared again but I’ve never regretted using Salvia. Maybe someday I’ll take enough to have a real “breakthrough”.
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Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 99467
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 40
Published: Jun 12, 2020	Views: 1,639
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Salvia divinorum (44), Duloxetine (395) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)