DOSE:

20 mg

oral

2C-B

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

20mg 2C-B alone in my bedroom, with music, candles, my laptop, and art. Previous psychedelic experiences: LSD on multiple occasions and psilocybin, 2C-I, 4-HO-MiPT, 5-MeO-MiPT, and 2C-B all once.

I went into this experience without a lot of intention, only openness. Whatever it was I was going to feel I wanted myself to experience it fully without fear. My previous experience with 2C-B was glorious. The setting was the exact same. I'm interested in the emotional and aesthetic enhancement offered by these drugs, and what insight they could give for creativity, philosophy, or simply life in general. I prefer to avoid the “mind-fuck” variety of psychedelics and want to maintain a clear head, so 2C-B had immediately become a favorite. While I have had the pleasure of experiencing myself as the godhead with psilocybin, I'm more interested in the more down to earth psychedelics and empathogens.

I await the drug's effects by practicing piano. About an hour in, I noticed myself becoming really involved performing Debussy's Children's Corner Suite for an imaginary audience, and this was the first sign that the night would be filled with delights.

I sat on my bed with my trusty book of Monet's art. I was entering familiar territory. The emotional character of 2C-B was becoming evident. It's a whimsical, sensual carefree sort of feeling. I am confident is best alluded to as a strawberry cheesecake Blizzard from Dairy Queen but for about five hours. And Jesus Christ, it is a horny Blizzard.

I decided I wanted to watch Harry Potter. I was utterly convinced in the existence of magic and pondered the paradox of a universe “governed” by magical forces. The visuals became too distracting from the emotional component, which was what I was interested in. The multidimensional facets of Dumbledore's face were unsettling. I never experienced visuals like these before. There wasn't patterning, but everything seemed to be made of a thick organic goo that behaved like jello. It was very similar to the visual effects of the film Waking Life except with more flow.

So I made my way on my bed and turned on some music. Wow. The harmonies, timbre, rhythms, and melodies all collided into one magnificent synesthetic experience. Not only would the music be seen in my mind's eye as a wave or pattern of color, my body also had a component that would dance with the music. I started many interpretive fantasies. I listened to a number of Ravel piano pieces, J'eau deux in particular was magic. The softer acoustic Led Zeppelin songs such as “That's The Way,” “Going to California,” and “The Rain Song” fit the emotional character of 2C-B very well.

I actually was the music. I feel all the sadness and joy of melodies fully. There is no question about what the composer is trying to express though his music, as I am experiencing it directly. Music seems to be a program used to explore the wide range of emotional experiences a human can experience. I now fully understand what Carl Jung meant when he said that music puts you in direct contact with the archetypes.

Stravinsky's Dumbarton Oaks turned me on. A lot. As did his Danses Concertantes. With Stravinsky, I'd see colorful pointillistic landscapes, especially in the more rhythmic pieces. The sexual aspect of this compound... wow.. this is what I've been wanting to experience! The aesthetic and emotional aspect of the psychedelic experience is always what has interested me, more so than dissolving my ego.

I have never felt so erotic, sensual, or alive in my whole life. At this point, I ponder what my limits are. Just because I am capable, with the help of 2C-B, to experience this, does that mean that I should? I mean, it isn't meth, yet what is the value of such an experience, if anything, outside of itself? In my daily life I readily seek out aesthetic experiences through art and music. Yet here, I am at the artist's paradise and I do not know what to make of it intellectually. What is the point of art at all, outside of itself? I eventually let my thoughts drown in the beats of the music and get lost into a landscape of synesthetic sensations.

I wish it were possible for me to describe how remarkable my orgasms were; I can't. Ann Shulgin comes quite close in the 2C-B entry in PiHKAL, “unbelievably erotic, quiet and exquisite, almost unbearable. I cannot begin to unravel the imagery that imposes itself during the finding of an orgasm. Trying to understand physical/spiritual merging in nature-”

After about three hours of music listening with accompanied sexual exploration, I decided to wind down the trip with a bath. As one would expect, it felt magnificent. The bath was lit by only two candles so the textures of the water and soap blended with the flames.

During this trip, I often tried to intellectually justify what I was experiencing. I could not explain how or why a melody that has always moved me in everyday consciousness now had the capacity to send me to superb, heavenly places. Why did I need a drug to do that? Did the writer of this melody know of this place? Does this change anything whatsoever about aesthetics at all? I pondered the idea of heaven, as I certainly felt to be there. It certainly is a much higher pleasure than anything either of my parents have experienced I know for sure, and for that I feel sad for them, yet they could not accept something so divine to be given so easily, and would claim it be the path of the devil, and in a certain way it is.

I've found that it is best not to make a dichotomy of sober/tripping experiences. I can have mind-blowing aesthetic experiences with or without the aid of a psychedelic, so I think it is best to abandon the idea that I experienced such beauty only because of a drug.

I remembered Sasha Shulgin himself saying that our ancestors who were tripping balls would be so enamored with the colors of a saber-tooth tiger would have gotten eaten! So our capacity for such experiences are here, but we no longer have the psychedelic chemical produced endogenously. So long as I am not putting myself into the context of danger, I likely will continue to use these chemicals and I am forever grateful for Sasha for exploring these chemicals.

The capacity to have such lush experiences of what seems to be heaven is within us, catalyzed potentially with 2C-B and similar psychedelics. I am curious about what this might mean for art, if anything at all. Perhaps there is no need to think over the crazy amount of pleasure I experienced that night, after all, for what reasons does wood pattern in the way it does?

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99489
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: May 17, 2018	Views: 2,330
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2C-B (52) : Music Discussion (22), Sex Discussion (14), General (1), Alone (16)