DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	sublingual	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 1:30	5 g	oral	Amanitas - A. muscaria	(capsule)
T+ 2:30	0.5 g	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 2:30	1 cig.	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 2:30	3 hits	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

I recently acquired some blotter, which I was told were 300ug per tab -- I doubted that, more likely it was around 100ug. Anyway, I placed one sublingually and held it there about an hour and a half. Then I chewed it to mush and swallowed. I then swallowed about 5g of dried amanita muscaria powder in gelcap form.

I waited about half an hour, then smoked a fair amount of cannabis sativa out of a bong. I went outside and had a cigarette in my driveway.

Patterms in the grass began to appear and everything began to take on a very interesting appearance. Colors were brighter, lines more well defined, and it was very pleasant.

I went back inside, and loaded about 1/4 gram of 15x salvia into my bong. I hit it with a lighter, making sure to keep the flame in direct contact while I inhaled. I managed to get 3 hits out of it, leaving behind white ash.

I barely made it to my bed, and lost my awareness. The hallucinations were WEIRD -- but interesting, and not really terrifying so much as intensely confusing. Have you ever had a sudden realization that made your spine tingle? It was like that, but thousands of times stronger.

It was also intensely familiar. It is hard to explain, but I went to a 'place' on Salvia that gave a very strong feeling of deja vu. I felt like this is the REAL reality, this salvia space, and everything before the trip was just a sick joke. I knew a secret that you aren't supposed to know, a secret kept from me for my own good, and now the gods are laughing at me. It's like tasting the fruit, only to recognize that you've been naked the entire time.

In this salvia space, I got these sudden realizations, and it felt IMPERATIVE that I remember them. I became convinced that there are an infinite number of parallel realities, all of them predestined and static, but that our conscious decisions move our perception in between realities. This thing-perceiving exists prior to and without any memories, but acquires the memories of the host that it exists within in each reality. Time moves according to the pace of decision making. These realities exist without meaning, randomly within the infinite nothing, having come into existence without reason, and will return to nothing. The only meaning is to perceive them.

Then, I was hit with all of these sudden realizations about myself. My mind was flooded with thoughts, and I instantly knew the answer to every question. It is not pleasant to realize that you have been lying to yourself. It's not pleasant to realize the very finite nature of your life, the meaninglessness of your hobbies, the extent of your flaws.

The other interesting thing is the way in which it changes perception of self. Close your eyes, and think about your consciousness. Where is it coming from? That place behind your eyes? Imagine your entire body as just a thing you 'have', not as a part of you. Salvia is like seeing what is beyond sight, it's like being a brain in a vat, disconnected from reality. Where are you? Do you even exist at all?

There is a passage by Mark Twain that best sums up the experience:

>'Life itself is only a vision, a dream.'
>It was electrical. By God! I had had that very thought a thousand times in my musings!
>'Nothing exists; all is a dream. God--man--the world--the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars--a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space--and you!'
>'I!'
>'And you are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me....
>'I am perishing already--I am failing--I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever--for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!
>'You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks--in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.
>'It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream--a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought--a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!'
>He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.

The terrifying part was coming back to reality, recognizing that I was a human, then noticing that my heart was acting strange -- beating arrhythmically -- and I've been drooling all over myself, I was covered in cold sweat, couldn't stop spasming or shivering, and I had been crying and couldn't get up to dial 911 even if I wanted to. It was believing that I have just discovered the answer to everything, but the answer will be lost as I died shivering and alone.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99564
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Dec 10, 2021	Views: 1,085
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Salvia divinorum (44), Amanitas - A. muscaria (70), LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)