DOSE:

1800 ug

25C-NBOMe

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

As this is my first trip report, here's a little psychedelic bio of mine: 4-Acetoxy-DMT, 5-MeO-DMT, DMT, Shrooms, LSD, LSA, 2C-B, 25i, 25c, DXM, Diethyl Ether and Nitrous Oxide.

25c and 25i were the first psychedelics that I got extensive use with. In 3 months I did roughly 80 to 100 hits of these substances (mainly 25c). 25i always felt electric and amphetaminish so I steered clear and usually only used to mix with 25c. I did these hits in such a short period of time that my tolerance went from doing one hit (600 ug) to 8 hits every time to achieve a somewhat comparable experience though not nearly as easy on the mind as 1 hit obviously. This substance was driving my sanity into the dirt and as I was suicidal it just made me want to go insane. I became comfortable with the idea of losing my mind long after the drug had worn off, there were many trips where I knew I would never return to my former mental status (ultimately true, but not in a negative way as I had thought).

I must also mention this trip was highly influenced by the awakening Eckhart Tolle had inspired in me. His book had changed everything for me after only one chapter. This honestly had such a profound impact on my depression not affecting the trip.

Now to the trip, I had run out of all my supply and it was a month and a half since I had tripped. My girlfriend had been holding onto 6 hits of mine and I wanted to go out with a bang and then never touch the substance again. I was still suicidal and had a strong disliking of this substance by this point. But regardless of my horrible mindstate and my self-destructive search for loss of sanity, I wanted that crazy feeling again (why?). My girlfriend told me to only take 3 as my tolerance was gone and 6 hits could hurt, it was a very emotional conversation so I caved in.

It is 8:00 and I take the 3 hits with zero expectations, ready for the usual or unknown, depressed and suicidal. This horrible introduction to a trip should have me wrecked but read on. The lights were off for the most part of this trip, in a dark room on my bed.

In about 20 minutes I start to feel the unease and sweatiness. It scares me a little but I listen to some Shpongle and wait.

45 minutes pass, visuals are at a solid level 3 already, patterns of the likes of Alex Grey with coliseum-esque structures flowing around me bright as day in the pitch black dark room. My depression fades a little and I am relieved that despite the dose and mental state I seem to be going somewhere incredibly positive.

1 hour passes and I have lost all feeling of ego, I was in a state of pure consciousness. I am in love with my girlfriend and want to talk to tell her of the beauty I feel so she can rest her ease about my depressive state. Time is no longer existent, I proceed to text her for the peak of my trip, words just appear and flow. I don’t even remember writing something I wrote 5 seconds ago, she takes 5 minutes to respond and it feels instant. I see the words I post and am disgusted by the lack of soul they have, they do not fit my current mindstate.

1 and 15 minutes pass. I am looking at the beauty of these patterns and all of a sudden I see a tail with scales. I am astounded by the beauty and am in awe. I wait and observe this and it disappears. This is when the visuals took on a divine quality. There is a man (maybe a god?) laying in a field in front of me. His legs protrude on either side of me as if I am his subject. I look to the left and see evil dwarves who’s red eyes glow in the dark but the more I notice them the more peaceful they become. I look to the right and see a tree with a sun setting behind it, this place looks like paradise, a divine heaven of sorts. I tell my girlfriend how much she means and how my suicidal thoughts have disappeared and I am now in a better place. I turn the phone left and right, the keyboard becomes three dimensional and protrudes from my screen. I am now looking at the sides of my iPhones key (a two dimensional image becoming completely 3d). Every emotion I felt (fear, paranoia, love) would be visually displayed, I would get scared for a split second and see demons and then realize I was safe and they would become beautiful again.

This continues for hours as the visuals and mindstate don’t increase or decrease but it does not matter this is the perfect state, nothing is lacking. I am desiring no more; this is absolutely the most in touch my soul has ever been, my ego is present but I am above it and watching it, in control. My consciousness is aware and only using my ego as a tool in which I can function but I am not identified with it. I am two people, the person I thought I was and my true soul underneath. I have completely unidentified myself with my mind as Eckhart Tolle had taught in “The Power of Now”. It’s beautiful, the past weeks of wondering if this man was full of shit or a truly awakened individual with the key to the universe was finalized. His teaching were true, I could feel everything I had learned present in me, I was not my mind but truly a observer able to watch it, not judge it but simply be present with it.

3 and a half hours pass. I turn on the lights to go out and chat with my brother. Everything looks like Play-Dough. My hands are like a very rounded clay and so is every object in the room. The dresser at the end of my room slowly morphs from a two wolf heads and then back to a dresser. I sit in my bed for a short while before engaging with my brother. My bed folds in on itself and my whole room closes like a book and I am in space, then back to normal and then repeated etc. I want to talk so I go talk to my brother of my journey as my peak is fading a little. We talk for an hour or so about ego and many of Tolle’s teachings.

After a long productive night I head back to my room to meditate and sleep. I cannot sleep and this does not bother me. I love absorbing the wonder I just experienced to its fullest extent for soon enough it would be history and since the past is not real and neither is the future I settle into the now and experience what the world has given me. I am no longer texting, no distractions. I am alone with my ego but now I am fully aware of it so it is not me, it is something to observe and be amused by. I close my eyes and enjoy the visuals as they fade. All of a sudden my mind stops, no more thoughts in my head. I wouldn’t exactly call this headspace as everything was clear, they were absolutely no thoughts, just pure consciousness. I realize this without analyzing it, a warmth like no other fills my body and soul and my consciousness is pulled back out of my head. I was aware of my body and yet my soul was not only in it but in the spaces around it. I am in complete joy. This lasts for about 9 seconds, the most joyous 9 seconds of my life. I analyze the wonder and it fades, but this is alright. Those 9 seconds of complete joy was all I needed to sleep.

Those 9 seconds were not exclusively a tripping related phenomenon. Tripping made it easier but I have experienced the same joy while completely sober, 25c made it easier but it was not an exclusive thing. I have tripped many, many times on this substance and never once had I had an experience that was even close to this one, a solid level 4 experience with moments that I would personally classify as level 5.

This chemical has great potential, it did not give me anything I can say I could not have gotten while sober but honestly what psychedelics do, it brought the beauty in me out in a time of utter self loathing. It gave me love of myself and the world in which I live. It was truly the most profound experience of my life .

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99956
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Sep 8, 2013	Views: 5,447
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25C-NBOMe (540) : Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Alone (16)